Zombiez (2005)

Nomination Year: 2016

SYNOPSIS: Don't you hate it when you make a smart-aleck crack, and it turns out to be (a) unexpectedly true, and (b) sadly prescient? Before watching this movie, I made a joke about Zombiez being a zombie film from the makerz of Vampiyaz ... and so it turned out to be!

Don't you love movies where they take an unusual zombification premise and follow through the ramifications in an intelligent and unexpected fashion? Me too! This isn't one of those.

How about movies where things happen pretty much randomly? And a crime boss tortures a dude in a chicken suit? And a random woman fights to survive in a world where people become zombiez which then try to kill her?

This is one of those movies. One of those "here is our heroine, now zombiez are chasing her -- run, girl, run! Run home! See your stupid boyfriend open the door when you tell him not to. Nom, zombiez, nom! Run, girl, run! See you stumble across a naked woman in the process of being tortured. Can't stop now! Run, girl, run! See zombiez stalk people in the woodz! Sorry, survivalistz. Sorry, woodz. Run, girl, run! See the movie end! Holy crap, that was pointlezz! Sorry, movie audience. Thank$ for the money." movies.

Kevin Hogan

Smithee Award Nominations

"Cutting Butter With A Chainsaw"
Operation Gumbo II The Doctor is a little bit defensive about the names of his tactical operations. When an underling named Benedict suggests that "Operation Gumbo" was taken, and "Operation Gumbo II" was cheesy...well, the Doctor doesn't react well.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

"WHAT?!"
Random dude in chicken suit	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Acting Appropriately Stupid

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Kidnappers. Kidna--

Steve knows he's in danger, yet leaves safety and goes over to open the pounding door.

"What's going on?"

Your kidnapping, ass-whooping, torture, and death, that's what.

Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
John Bacchus	writer/director of such glistening cinematic excrescence as this movie, Kinky Kong, and Batbabe: The Dark Nightie, it's no wonder that he uses multiple pseudonyms

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Jenicia Garcia	<Not Yet in Database>	also producer of Zombiez
Jackeem Sellers	<Not Yet in Database>
Randy Clarke	<Not Yet in Database>
J. Teddy Garces	<Not Yet in Database>	"Bruiser" on Felicia Day's The Guild, he would probably prefer that we just forget this whole movie....
Loki	<Not Yet in Database>	but not that Loki -- although....


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