Mold! (2012)

Nomination Year: 2015
SYNOPSIS:  In the year 1984, the war on drugs gets serious as a classified government project fashions a fast-growing, genetically engineered strain of mold designed to wipe out coca fields. Unfortunately yet predictably, the mold also feeds on human flesh when exposed to even the slightest moisture. Now a group of government scientists and functionaries must try to destroy the mold that's escaped from its containment in the top-secret underground lab before it eats not only them, but the world!


Into the Frying Pan
Nobody notices the Sergeant acting strangely, going over to the stove, firing it up, taking out a pan, and sizzling his hand like a pound of bacon.

"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"

Rejected Melville Title: Moldy Dick
After the Col. asserts that if a knife-fight with a Cambodian mountain jaguar didn't hurt him, his cigar won't either, we cut to (unfortunately) the Congressman taking a piss with a clearly-revealed dick spotted with green mold. Then he has a coke-fueled narcissistic self-love fest in the mirror.

Deus Ex Machina

Mysterious Cam Guy, Meta Version
Having smoked out the black-ops guy who's plagued them from behind the CCTV feeds, our heroes force him outside, where they believe his talk of snipers surrounding the building was just a bluff. It wasn't. But just as the baddie is about to pull the trigger on our last remaining hero...BANG! He's shot by one of the snipers, apparently on the orders of *yet another* blacker-ops, behind-the-scenes cam guy.

Best One-Liner

How Clever
"It has been my experience that the least clever people in this world are the ones who think themselves the most clever." "That's very clever, Colonel."

Acting Appropriately Stupid

Still Better Than Hpnotiq
Even after JUST having witnessed the "control agent" (i.e., highly experimental mold antidote) literally melt a guy's face right off, the brilliant doctor decides to CHUG some. "It's the only way." What?? Anyway, predictable results. Well...maybe not *totally* predictable.

Worst Picture

The Green Shit Hits the Fan
Our hero is examining the Congressman's corpse when...pop! He gets exposed, decides to use the control agent on himself. Then things get a bit...crazy. The squeamish aide fails to notice the hot-and-mold running water he's drinking. The hero's face gets melted off. The lead doc loses his glasses! Everyone's screaming! Bad eye-melting FX and rubber heads!

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Edward X. Young Mainly known for costume design and SPFX 
Ardis Campbell  
Lawrence George  
Rick Haymes  
Mike Keller Was a cop on "30 Rock" once 
Director Claim to Fame
Neil Meschino  

Bryan Cassidy

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© 2011-2019 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.