Evil Clutch - Die Rückkehr der Dämonen [German]
Gerosoido [Japanese]
Il Bosco 1 [Italian]
Tagline(s):
The nightmare that grabs you where you least expect it!
Her kiss may be heaven, but HELL is her touch!
Nomination Year: 2023
SYNOPSIS: As near as I can figure, a vampire-like woman seduces men, then, during sex, a claw comes out of her hoo-hoo and tears off their woo-woo. This turns them into zombie-like slaves. Meanwhile, a Venezian couple on their honeymoon stumble into this gothic village, get accosted by a weirdo writer, and eventually fall into the vampire-woman's...evil clutch.
There is a whole lotta weirdness here...
Bryan Cassidy
Smithee Award Nominations
Deus Ex Machina
Overly-Convenient Chainsaw, Then Overly-Convenient Sunrise
She's about to be killed by the zombie, but climbs a ladder and--lo!--there's a chainsaw! It's a miricle it was there, and a greater miracle there was gas...but even that miracle gas runs out and she stumbles onto a small mirror. Luckily, the sun JUST rose and she kills the zombie by shining its rays onto it. Wow!
Stupidest-Looking Monster
Throat Cancer Guy Killed by Googly-Eyed Witch Daughter
An epic battle...we learn Arva is actually Algernoon's daughter (because she tells us in a creepy high-pitched voice). He cuts off her coochie-claw but gets overpowered and choked with an axe handle against a rock. The witch stands in triumph by going googly eyed!
Crummiest Ending
We Get It, You're Upset
Cindy has killed the last zombie. It's dawn. But I think she might have come a little...unhinged. Nearly FOUR FULL MINUTES of her sobbing and stumbling away. And just when you think she'll stop...uh, no. Finally she takes a breather as the handi-cam zooms around to find Arva...who hisses, turns chroma-key, and...credits. GAH.
Crummiest Ending
Andreas Marfori
Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni
Elena Cantarone
Diego Ribon
Stefano Molinari
