Alien Hunter (2003)
The Beacon

Nomination Year: 2009
SYNOPSIS:  Brilliant linguist and alien conspiracy theorist Dr. Daniel Jackson (played by James Spader) is approached by a top-secret military program in the hopes that he can decode an alien language and unlock the secrets of The Stargate!

Oh wait. Wrong movie.

Brilliant linguist and alien conspiracy theorist Dr. Daniel Jackson Julian Rome (played by James Spader) is approached by a top-secret military program in the hopes that he can decode an alien language and unlock the secrets of The Stargate! an alien artifact at a remote Antarctic base. He agrees to go and, less than 20 minutes into the film, he is shown a gigantic space-turd frozen in a block of ice. Touching the ice causes him to have some sort of strange vision of outer space, so the alien hunt is successful. Congratulations.

Rather than end the film there, he sets to work trying to decode the strange signal coming from somewhere inside the block. He discovers, too late, that the aliens have (for some reason) encrypted a warning: "Do Not Open." The people on the base who survive the explosion learn that the space-turd is an escape pod, and the alien inside has a super-contagious space disease which wiped out all life on Mars. The people on the base who survive exposure to the disease are now carriers.

The top-secret military program somehow knew about the risk of this disease: thus the remote Antarctic base. They give a courtesy call letting the folks there know that, what with the disease and all, it'd probably be for the best if they just nuked the base. All but one or two of the researchers agree that this would be a good idea. The dissenters make a run for the surface, where they are fried by an alien ship which had stopped by to pick up the escape pod. It picks up the rest of the researchers and flies them off just as the nukes hit and destroy the base.

Deus Ex Machina

The Aliens Came Down! We're Saved!
They rush outside to discover: The aliens have apologetically appeared and a) conveniently cause the death of the bad scientist, b) contain the spread of the protozoa with their force field, c) provide a perfect opportunity for Julien and his ex-love to reconnect, and d) whisk the remaining cast away for a life of extraterrestrial adventure, just in time to avoid the nuke.

Inane Dialogue

"It's Jack. He's dead."
You mean that charred hunk of ex-flesh? No shit.

Acting Appropriately Stupid

"Hey, I've Got a Really Gooed Idea!"
Let's poke the goo in the alien pod! With a sharp stick!

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
James Spader typically finds himself in slightly better grades of film than this 
Tyrone Pinkham also electrician on Dragon Storm 
Atanas Srebrev  
Marianne Stanicheva  
Director Claim to Fame
Ron Krauss  

Matt Quirk

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