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Alien Hunter  (2003)
[+]
The Beacon
Tagline(s):At the ends of the Earth, it's the end of the world...
 There IS something out there!
 Earth just got its final warning!
Nomination Year: 2009
SYNOPSIS: Brilliant linguist and alien conspiracy theorist Dr. Daniel Jackson (played by James Spader) is approached by a top-secret military program in the hopes that he can decode an alien language and unlock the secrets of The Stargate!

Oh wait. Wrong movie.

Brilliant linguist and alien conspiracy theorist Dr. Daniel Jackson Julian Rome (played by James Spader) is approached by a top-secret military program in the hopes that he can decode an alien language and unlock the secrets of The Stargate! an alien artifact at a remote Antarctic base. He agrees to go and, less than 20 minutes into the film, he is shown a gigantic frozen space-turd in a block of ice. Touching the ice causes him to have some sort of strange vision of outer space, so the alien hunt is successful. Congratulations.

Rather than end the film there, he sets to work trying to decode the strange signal coming from somewhere inside the block. He discovers, too late, that the aliens have (for some reason) encrypted a warning: "Do Not Open." The people on the base who survive the explosion learn that the space-turd is an escape pod, and the alien inside has a super-contagious space disease which wiped out all life on Mars. The people on the base who survive exposure to the disease are now carriers.

The top-secret military program somehow knew about the risk of this disease: thus the remote Antarctic base. They give a courtesy call letting the folks there know that, what with the disease and all, it'd probably be for the best if they just nuked the base. All but one or two of the researchers agree that this would be a good idea. The dissenters make a run for the surface, where they are fried by an alien ship which had stopped by to pick up the escape pod. It picks up the rest of the researchers and flies them off just as the nukes hit and destroy the base.
Matt Quirk
Smithee Award Nominations
Deus Ex Machina
The Aliens Came Down! We're Saved!
They rush outside to discover: The aliens have apologetically appeared and a) conveniently cause the death of the bad scientist, b) contain the spread of the protozoa with their force field, c) provide a perfect opportunity for Julien and his ex-love to reconnect, and d) whisk the remaining cast away for a life of extraterrestrial adventure, just in time to avoid the nuke.
Inane Dialogue
"It's Jack. He's Dead."
You mean that charred hunk of ex-flesh? No shit.
Acting Appropriately Stupid
"Hey, I've Got a Really Gooed Idea!"
Let's poke the goo in the alien pod! With a sharp stick!

The result is predictible. You've just exposed Earth to an alien something that melts people!
Directors
Director Claim to Fame
Ron Krauss Produced Puppies for Sale
Cast
Actor Character Claim to Fame
James Spader Julian Rome Critically-acclaimed actor recently acheiving A-List reknown as Raymond Reddington on "The Blacklist." But was in Sex, Lies, and Videotape and was the star of Stargate
Janine Eser Dr. Kate Brecher As of this writing, Alien Hunter was her last film credit. Wonder why? 
John Lynch Dr. Michael Straub Jim Burns on "The Fall," and John Bridgens on "The Terror." 
Nikolai Benev Dr. Alexi Gierach Pop-Pop in Sinbad: The Battle of the Dark Knights
Leslie Stefanson Nyla Olson Was in An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn as Michelle Rafferty, and also Kelly in Unbreakable
Aimee Graham Shelly Klein Younger sister of Heather Graham. You can see the resemblance in looks, if not talent. 
Tyrone Pinkham Kitt Peak Man #1 Also the Electrician on Dragon Storm
Atanas Srebrev Kitt Peak Man #2 A TON of small credits, many Smithee, including Agent Madison in Hellboy (the 2019 David Harbour version), Freidman in Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, Carlo in Raging Sharks, Erik Anderson in SharkMan, Captain Bonasera in Sharks in Venice...wait...does this guy have a shark fetish or something? 
Marianne Stansheva Reporter More a casting director than actress, but has been in a slew of Bad Movies in bit parts. 
Stuart Charno Abell Ted in Friday the 13th Part II; was a cabin boy vampire in the early Jim Carrey vehicle Once Bitten
Carl Lewis Grisham Won 10 Olympic gold medals in track and field. Can he bag a Smithee? 
Roy Dotrice Dr. John Bachman Plays venerated old guys and/or masterminds. Was Mozart's father Leopold in Amadeus; "Father" on "Beauty and the Beast"; King Balor in the Hellboy movies; and Hallyne on "Game of Thrones." 
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