Robo Vampire (1988)
Nomination Year: 2008
SYNOPSIS: Robo Vampire is no Rats, but it does come close. The thing that stuck with me the most about this film? The more you watch it, the less you know what's going on. Within the first few minutes, it's pretty clear what the movie's about. Then, as the film progresses, things get muddier and muddier, until by the time it ended, no one has the foggiest idea what happened.
There's this group of drug smugglers lead by a Taoist (how do we know? because his name is apparently "the Taoist"). The Taoist can summon hopping vampires, as well as one particularly powerful gorilla-faced hopping vampire known as the Vampire Beast.
There's this other group of drug smugglers lead by a man who looks an awful lot like Gabe Kaplan. Or maybe they're the same group of drug smugglers, and they have some good reason for almost never interacting.
There's also a group of US anti-drug-agent commandoes, who put enough of a crimp in the drug smuggling racket that one of them gets killed and brought back to life as a Robo Warrior. Looking very much like a low-budget vinyl Robocop, Robo Warrior is singularly unsuccessful at accomplishing anything until the very end of the movie.
But that doesn't really matter. I guess. If only this movie had made more "sense," it might have been a Smithee classic.
- Stupidest-Looking Monster
The Be(a)st of Both Worlds.
It's the evil Vampire Beast! It's a hopping vampire with a gorilla mask ... shooting fireworks out of its sleeves. Cue Sousa, and "Stars and Stripes Forever."
- Worst Cover Copy
We've Got That Covered!
The front cover is a goofy drawing with several elements which aren't in the film (no exploding cars, no helicopters), and the back cover contains several stills from the film ... and also a small still of the front cover. It's nice because you can directly compare the Robocop-looking guy on the cover to the vaguely-vinyl counterpart from the actual movie. There are also only two commas in the entire back cover text.
- Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame Robin Mackay only imdb credit Nian Watts only imdb credit
Director Claim to Fame Godfrey Ho possibly directed more Smithee films than anyone else - also known as: Alton Cheung, Tommy Cheung, Ho Chi-Keung, Elton Chong, Daniel Clough, Leong Fui Fong, Antonin Gasner, Martin Greenfield, Godfrey Hall, Zhi Jiang He, Benny Ho, Chi-Mou Ho, Chun-Sing Ho, Fong Ho, York Lam, Bruce Lambert, Charles Lee, Frank Lewis, Joe Livingstone, Jerry Sawyer, Victor Sears, Robert Young, Albert Yu
[Smithee Film Gallery] [Return to Lobby]
© 2011-2013 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.