Yeti: Giant of the 20th Century  (1977)
[+]
(Foreign Titles)
Nomination Year: 2011
SYNOPSIS: 
Q: What's large, cold, hairy, Canadian, and brought to you by Hunnicut Enterprises?
A: No, not John Candy in the morgue. It's the Yeti: Giant of the 20th Century, of course.

A giant furry hominid is found frozen in the Canadian north. A giant telephone booth is built around him, and he is airlifted by helicopter (while simultaneously being watered - to thaw him). He reanimates, and is sent to metropolitan Toronto, to be the new mascot of Hunnicut Enterprises. The Hunnicut Yeti rakes in the dough. Too bad the actual Yeti freaks out at flash photography.

He does take a liking to Hunnicut's granddaughter, combing her hair with the bones of a giant fish. And he has the most amazing Soulful Yeti Eyes. This is good, because he screams like a little girl. As one-note as the Yeti, our film's soundtrack consists of an unusual orchestration of "O Fortuna" from Orff's Carmina Burana. This is innovative and interesting the first few times we hear it. By the eighth through twelfth times, it has become repetitive and ludicrous. Without warning, however, the thirteenth time, there are lyrics! Yeti-themed lyrics. Of course! It was recorded by the Yetians and released on a promotional 45.

That's a 45-RPM record for all you youngsters, not a .45-caliber bullet. It probably would have sold better as a Yeti-branded bullet. But I digress.

The Yeti goes on a pointless rampage, pausing only to save Hunnicut's granddaughter when she's about to fall down an elevator shaft to her death. She manages to lure it to safety (as apparently Toronto cops cannot locate the giant Yeti -- Sgt. Preston they are not). There, the Yeti succumbs to low-altitude sickness, and must be given oxygen via a giant gas mask. Some thugs (hired by a rival commercial conglomerate) try to kill off Hunnicut's grandson & granddaughter (and their collie), so the Yeti goes on a pointed rampage.

In the end, the Yeti escapes to return to its ancestral homelands of the glacier that broke off the ice shelf in the stock footage which began the movie. Ah, the Great White North!

In case you're curious, they pronounce the word "Yeti" as Yay Tea. Solely to annoy me, I suppose.
Kevin Hogan
Smithee Award Nominations
Smithee Award Winner! "Alas, Poor Yorick"
Really, it was the smell that killed him.
The yeti is enraged. He brings his giant foot down on one of the thugs that have attacked his human friends. The man struggles, so the yeti slips his giant toes around the man's neck, and snaps it ... like a large twig.
Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!
Stupidest-Looking Monster
Eye yi yi!
More attempts at Communication and Understanding between the Hunnicut grandkids and the Yeti are under way when the Yeti goes off on a bit of a rampage ("Look out! He's got a tree!"). Note especially the yeti's Soulful Yeti Eyes.
Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!
Worst Science
Watering the Yeti
In order to revive the yeti, they must airlift him to a high altitude, like those where he lived. Once there, they will attempt to thaw his blood by raising his body temperature with warm water -- a procedure they call Watering the Yeti. I hope they also remember to turn him toward the sunlight and repot him when his feet get too big.
Directors
Director Claim to Fame
Gianfranco Parolini wrote and directed several of the Kommissar X films 
Cast
Actor Character Claim to Fame
Stelio Candelli <Not Yet in Database>  
Donald O'Brien <Not Yet in Database> Born Donal O'Brien, he was Pietro d'Assisi in In the Name of the Rose. Other than that, lots of bit parts in Z-Movies, like Dr. Butcher, M.D., 2020: Texas Gladiators, and Quest for the Mighty Sword
Aldo Canti <Not Yet in Database>  
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