Cross Wars (2017)

Cross Wars (2017)

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Cross 2: Doublecrossed
Double Cross

Tagline(s):

Never Too Late To Save Mankind

Nomination Year: 2026

SYNOPSIS:

Callan (Brian Austin Green) and his crew of weapons experts are back, protecting Los Angeles from the scum of the Earth. But Callan has an edge--his special Celtic cross amulet gives him super-powers!

But this time, he faces twin threats. First, a new ruthless mob boss named Muerte (Danny Trejo) has moved into town, and he means business! He almost kills the crew in a junkyard. Then he blows up their hideout and sends Callan and crew into hiding.

As if that's not trouble enough, the Big Bad from the first movie returns...because he can't be killed! Gunnar (played by Vinnie Jones, the Temu Jason Statham) comes gunning for Callan through his love interest, Riley, who has a time-stopping amulet of her own and her own crew of badass babes.

Bryan "Allen Smithee" Cassidy

Smithee Award Nominations

Deus Ex Machina
"Bullshit Amulet! REVERSE the Flow of Time!" Callan screws up bigtime and loses to Gunnar. But he manages to use his amulet to break his cuffs (something Gunnar said his devices would prevent), grabs Riley's timey-wimey amulet, and rewinds reality until he saves the day and traps the immortal Gunnar. UGH.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Best One-Liner

Don't Let Your Balls Drop!

Okay, everyone in the film is super serious and angsty, so Blackfire (Juhahn Jones) carries the weight of being THE comic relief. Like constantly. Annoyingly. Every line from his mouth. Here, the crew is setting up their new hideout after the old one was compromised. Lucia mentions it needs a woman's touch, and Blackfire says he does, too. Then he bobbles one of his magical hand-grenades (I kid you not). Luckily, it doesn't explode. But Riot threatens "If you drop your balls one more time, I'm gonna shove 'em straight up your turd-cutter for safekeeping."

Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

"Cutting Butter With A Chainsaw"
Junkyard Dogfight The interminable firefight in the junkyard...which Danny Trejo then blows up! Provided you can stand watching to the end.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Acting Appropriately Stupid
Touch the Black Hole! When you've gotta test your universe-destroying black hole doomsday weapon, what better test subjects than two brainless hookers who don't know enough NOT TO TOUCH THE SPHERE OF ANNIHILATION!	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Patrick Durham	Only directed (and wrote) the three awful Cross films.

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Brian Austin Green	Callan	Relatively long and storied career in Hollywood, starting with Willie in 1985's remake of The Canterville Ghost, then went on to be Brian Cunningham on "Knot's Landing"; Daryl Coopersmith in Adventures in Babysitting; David Silver on "Beverly Hills 90210"; Derek Reese on "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles"; and Jack in Don't Blink.
Vinnie Jones	Gunnar	From British soccer player to Hollywood badass, he's been in Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Gone in 60 Seconds, Snatch, as well as playing Juggernaut in X-Men: The Last Stand. He was also King Garrett on "Galavant" and Brickwell on "Arrow." Proving anyone can make a Bad Movie.
Danny Trejo	Muerte	Super badass tough guy, he is the legendary Machete, among many other rugged, Mexicano action roles. He always has a clause in his contract such that if he plays a bad guy, his character will be killed by the end of the story. Noice!
Tom Sizemore	Det. Frank Nitti	Sergeant Horvath in Saving Private Ryan, McKnight in Black Hawk Down, Max Peltier in Strange Days. Oh, and the voice of Metamorpho on the animated "Justice League" series.
Lori Heuring	Lucia	Texan beauty known for Lorraine in Mulholland Drive; Mrs. Keppel in Prom Night (2008); Karen in Wicked Little Things; and Maxine in Runaway Jury.
Amy Jane	Riley	Just this. Not even the courtesy of being in the previous movie, just sprung on us as Cross's True Love, full-formed. She is a smoking hot brunette, though.
Tim Abell	Riot	Former Army sniper who tends to favor second-fiddle parts in Westerns and action flicks.
Juhahn Jones	Blackfire	Comedic actor. Cinnamon in The Starving Games. And plays himself (or at least characters named "Juhahn [Jones]") in lots of stuff like Follow Me, "Like Family", "You Hittin Dat", "Killer Bae", and Snow Bunny Chronicles.
Roman Mitichyan	Scientist Konrad	Armenian actor who plays a lot of thugs, heavies, and uncredited background characters, even in some big films like the John Wick franchise, "Better Call Saul," the "NCIS" shows, and "Dexter."


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