Ninja Phantom Heroes (1987)
Ninja Empire
Ninja Made in USA... Delta Squad

Nomination Year: 2018
SYNOPSIS:  Wow. Most disappointing ninjer movie ever. If it had starred Richard Harrison, then perhaps it would have been worth the hour and a half.

Or perhaps not. It did feature Catman, at least. Twice. Catman, like Darth Vader, is full of tinier men. Jonathan Isgar did his little turn on the catwalk as Catman in the Catman films, but the dubbed voice of Catman is assigned to a different actor in this movie, as was the dubbed voice (but not the body) of Gus. Sadly, this was the high point in the movie -- playing "spot the voice actor."

The plot was nearly incomprehensible (not because it was convoluted -- rather, it just made no sense, and characters appeared and disappeared pretty much at random). There were these three crime bosses (Chang, Chen, and the other one). There were these three yokels (Fatty, Baldy, and ... Skinny?). There was this American ex-GI smuggling arms to (or possibly from) Hong Kong via an Arabic contact. There was an ex-compatriot hunting him down. Rinse, stir, and swirl. Swirly swirly swirl. Even the climactic ninja battle was disappointing, despite the appearance of both a bullet-shooting parasol and a flying spinning thing that looked like a baby Dalek with its gyroscope out of whack....

Not all that ninjers is gold. Sad, but true.

Crummiest Ending

Plates, parasol, flying baby Dalek, sudden ending where the CIA was behind it all the time

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Jonathan Isgar "Catman" in the Catman movies 
Director Claim to Fame
Godfrey Ho possibly directed more Smithee films than anyone else - also known as: Alton Cheung, Tommy Cheung, Ho Chi-Keung, Elton Chong, Daniel Clough, Leong Fui Fong, Antonin Gasner, Martin Greenfield, Godfrey Hall, Zhi Jiang He, Benny Ho, Chi-Mou Ho, Chun-Sing Ho, Fong Ho, York Lam, Bruce Lambert, Charles Lee, Frank Lewis, Joe Livingstone, Jerry Sawyer, Victor Sears, Robert Young, Albert Yu 

Kevin Hogan

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