Recon 2020: The Caprini Massacre (2004)
[+]
(Foreign Titles)
Nomination Year: 2013
SYNOPSIS: Watching this movie after its sequel, Recon 2022: The Mezzo Incident, the thing that really struck me was how much the creators had improved as filmmakers between this movie and that. Recon 2022 might have been the cheapest, lowest-production-value movie I watched in 2011, but it was Citizen Kane compared to Recon 2020; which was apparently written by finding a Random Military Dialog Generator on the internet and hooking it up to a printer. Nearly the entire movie consists of soldiers walking around saying things like "watch your arcs" and "I want a nice tight formation" that, while authentic military jargon, have nothing much to do with what they're actually doing.
As we learned in Recon 2022 (having watched these movies out of order), in the future, the Earth has been destroyed by the alien Ma'har (who have never been seen; presumably because the filmmakers can't afford them) and their lackeys, the Cyborgs (who look exactly like humans, and are thus much cheaper). All that remains of humanity is a small military force fighting to secure a safe refuge for humanity.
A colony has dropped out of contact with the fleet and Alpha Team of the 34th Space Marines is sent in to investigate. And by "investigate," I mean "wander through a dark warehouse spouting Random Military Jargon and acting like something is about to happen, even though it never does." Or, at least, nothing except the occasional vampire or werewolf attack.
Um, yeah. It seems that the Ma'har have studied the human psyche and then genetically engineered monsters based on our myths. Fortunately, this quickly gets too expensive, and after a couple fights with monsters (and one with a tyrannosaur), Alpha Team gets captured by Cyborgs who, as previously noted, are much cheaper.
After Alpha Team doesn't report in for a while, Bravo Team is dispatched to look for them. Fortunately, by this time even the producers are bored, and we skip the investigating and go right to the getting their asses kicked by Cyborgs. The survivors are imprisoned with Alpha Team. Unfortunately for the Cyborgs, this leads to a critical mass of Imprisoned Space Marines, which metastasizes into a Cyborg-killing escape. Unlike Recon 2022, the ice worms do not come.
As we learned in Recon 2022 (having watched these movies out of order), in the future, the Earth has been destroyed by the alien Ma'har (who have never been seen; presumably because the filmmakers can't afford them) and their lackeys, the Cyborgs (who look exactly like humans, and are thus much cheaper). All that remains of humanity is a small military force fighting to secure a safe refuge for humanity.
A colony has dropped out of contact with the fleet and Alpha Team of the 34th Space Marines is sent in to investigate. And by "investigate," I mean "wander through a dark warehouse spouting Random Military Jargon and acting like something is about to happen, even though it never does." Or, at least, nothing except the occasional vampire or werewolf attack.
Um, yeah. It seems that the Ma'har have studied the human psyche and then genetically engineered monsters based on our myths. Fortunately, this quickly gets too expensive, and after a couple fights with monsters (and one with a tyrannosaur), Alpha Team gets captured by Cyborgs who, as previously noted, are much cheaper.
After Alpha Team doesn't report in for a while, Bravo Team is dispatched to look for them. Fortunately, by this time even the producers are bored, and we skip the investigating and go right to the getting their asses kicked by Cyborgs. The survivors are imprisoned with Alpha Team. Unfortunately for the Cyborgs, this leads to a critical mass of Imprisoned Space Marines, which metastasizes into a Cyborg-killing escape. Unlike Recon 2022, the ice worms do not come.
Greg Pearson
"Wanna Run That By Me Again?"
Christian Viel
