Future War (1997)
Ta Anthropoeidi

Nomination Year: 2012
SYNOPSIS:  In the distant future, time-traveling cyborgs rule the universe. They take humans from Earth's future to use as slaves, known as tools, and dinosaurs from its past to track down any who escape. Speaking of which, a slave, known only as the Runaway, does indeed manage to escape to the promised land -- modern day L.A. Close on his heels arrives a time-traveling cyborg to track him down and kill him. But, instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger, it's Robert Z'Dar. On the other hand, he's got dinosaurs, so take that Ahnold!

After the requisite opening fight with his pursuers where he's grievously wounded, the Runaway stumbles off and is rescued by a typical L.A. resident -- a former drugged-out prostitute turned nun named Sister Ann. The Sister and her low-income friends nurse him back to health while the Z'Darinator and his pet dinos wander around killing random Los Angelenos. Once the Runaway is coherent enough to explain what's going on and tell everyone that he's a tool, Sister Ann takes him to the police. Of course, they're no help, insisting that the city's recent spike in people being ripped limb-from-limb is the result of an uptick in coyote attacks.

Sister Ann and the Runaway run around L.A. for a while, being chased by dinosaurs while she educates him on what it means to be a free human (but not like that, her being a nun and all). Eventually, she enlists the aid of some of her old drug gang and arms dealer friends to stage a raid on the Z'Darinator's headquarters and drive the dinosaurs back into extinction.

Smithee Award Winner! Most Ludicrous Premise

Aliens using dinosaurs to track escaped slaves.
Cyborgs from the future kidnapped humans from the past for use as slaves -- and use dinosaurs to track any who escape. What could possibly go wrong?

"Alas, Poor Yorick"

That's a Code Violation!
The scientist is hiding behind a roof panel, spying on the Z'Darinator. Sadly, the drywall gives way, and she is spilled onto the ground -- right in his kill zone.


Film Noir This Ain't.
The group is moving cautiously down the hallway. Then, without warning, some of the kicker lights go out. They try not to notice.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Robert Z'Dar It'd be hard to find anyone whose face is puffier; huge ex-wrestler. 
Director Claim to Fame
Anthony Doublin you've seen his work and loved it -- his work as a Lighting Technician on Robot Chicken, that is 

Greg Pearson

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© 2011-2019 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.