Blood of the Chupacabras (2003)
Bloodthirst: Legend of the Chupacabras
Nomination Year: 2012
SYNOPSIS: Sllooooowwwww-moving plot, bad sound, and underexposures plague this suckfest. It's basically an endless string of: "What was that noise?"
Slaver, rinse, repeat. But if you must know: Grandpa was once the mildly famous "vampire hunter" back in the day, and now similar killings are beginning again. Despite his age, he must go to the Chupacabra's (aka the "Mocha Vampire's") lair (aka the Goat Mine) and put an end to the menace once and for all.
- Most Ludicrous Premise
The Mago (no relation)
Chupacabras are pets left behind by aliens. Gabrielle "Mago/White Witch" DeMarko tells us all about chupacabras using her air of superiority and uneven, vanishing accent.
- Worst Special Effect
The Big Reveal!
Not only is she the Chupacabra(s)/Mocha Vampire, but when she hypnotized him earlier, she somehow (telepathically?) slipped a suggestion into him so he can't kill her. But he can kill himself! He grabs her and leaps into the overly-convenient lava nearby, and we see, uh, a body, I guess, tumble in (BAD). All her vamped-out minions turn to skeletons (JUST AS BAD). "My God. I think it's over." Gramps somehow climbs out of the lava pit. THE END. Thank God, I think it's over.
[Smithee Film Gallery] [Return to Lobby]
© 2011-2018 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.