The Blade Master (1984)
Ator l'Invincibile 2
Ator the Invincible
Ator, the Blade Master
The Cave Dwellers
Nomination Year: 1992
SYNOPSIS: In a world of swords-and-sorcery, Ator is an enlightened Hero of the Ages: strong, handsome, intelligent. When his arch-nemesis Zor captures his old teacher (the "Great One," who seems to do nothing but spout meaningless platitudes), Ator, his faithful companion Thong, and the Great One's daughter Mila must journey to the Great One's castle to rescue him before he's forced to reveal the "Geometric Nucleus," a force of unstoppable power (i.e., a thinly-disguised atomic bomb reference). They are beset by many obstacles along the way, and only the fighting prowess, scientific knowledge, and watered-down pseudo-Zen philosophy of Ator can save the day. But can he save Mankind...from itself?
- Inane Dialogue
"Thong! The Fish Is Ready!"
In a quiet moment by the river, Ator and the Great One's daughter have an incomprensible conversation, which terminates with "Thong! The fish is ready!"
The mustachioed bad guy Zor is ordering his sorcerer-for-hire to wipe out Ator and friends: "I want him neutra-liminated!" In the middle of that strange word, "neutra-liminated," his head teleports to a new position. Obviously, they changed the line from "neutralized" to "eliminated" in midstream. But the editor must've liked them so much, he kept them both -- involuntarily.
If He Can Do That, Why Doesn't He Invent a Better Movie?
You may need to sit down for this one. Ator and his two companions need to somehow get into the fortress to rescue the Great One. Ator points offscreen. "You two take the secret entrance. I'll keep them busy out here." Ator leaves, stage right. Abruptly, we see Ator running off a mountaintop in a hang-glider! The aluminum parts are covered with straw, as if we're to believe that he constructed the darn thing himself in his spare time. As you're wondering where he got the hang-glider, you suddenly also wonder where the heck he got the mountain, since it was all flat land where he left his companions just a second before. In fact, the two of them look up and say, "Look, it's Ator! He's flying!" They smile and wave. Ator smiles and waves. The audience channel-surfs. As if that weren't enough to swallow, they begin to show Stock Footage of flying scenes: waterfalls, mountains, famous castles in Europe -- some in Germany, some in France... Where the hell is Ator going, anyway? There's even one shot where you can briefly see a modern town way off in the distance if you look carefully. But wait -- there's more! When Ator finally flies over the villain's castle, he begins to unhook homemade grenades from his belt, and merrily starts tossing them at the bad guy's goons from above. Which leads us to this question: If there's a "secret passage," why didn't Ator just use that instead of going through all this trouble?!
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