Recon 2023: The Gauda Prime Conspiracy (2009)

Nomination Year: 2014
SYNOPSIS:  The Recon 20xx movies keep getting better -- Recon 2023 isn't as much better than Recon 2022 than Recon 2022 was better than Recon 2021, but it's still a significant improvement. The budget is bigger, some of the special effects are marginally better, and several of the new actors actually have talent. If this rate of improvement continues, I estimate this series will become too good for the Smithees somewhere around Recon 2045. The humans are planning their final assault against the Ma'har -- and not a moment too soon, as the Ma'har Dream Machine is making the marines more and more psychotic (or maybe that's the drugs making the writers more and more psychotic). As part of the assault the Recon team, having survived the ice worm attack at the end of Recon 2022 by the clever method of not mentioning it, is sent to attack the Ma'har base believed to contain the dream machine. It's even more dangerous than their previous missions -- with the increased budget, this base is defended by actual Ma'har. Or, at least, it will be once they get past the desert crab, the doom chicken, and the traitor in their own midst. Meanwhile, in a subplot nobody cares about even a little, a psycho scientist convinces the President to let her experiment on the body of the cyborg villain from the last movie. Of course, by "experiment on," we mean "bring back to life." Suitably greatful, he kills the scientist and the president and takes over the space station housing the human high command. Fortunately, this has no effect on the attack whatsoever. As other human forces begin their assault, the marines enter the Ma'har base and actually fight some Ma'har for the first time in three movies. If, by "some," you mean "one." Still, it's the least stupid-looking monster in the entire series, so I guess it was worth the wait. The Ma'har is defeated, the dream machine is destroyed, and the assault is a success. Humans win! Except, of course, for the standard Recon 20xx ending where the marines appear to win and then there's a surprise twist and they're all clearly about to be killed. At least, until they show up completely fine in Recon 2024 with no explanation.

Smithee Award Winner! "Wanna Run That By Me Again?"

At Least They Didn't Mention Proctology
Gynocology is like a slice of cherry pie with whipped cream on top.

Stupidest-Looking Monster

The Doom Chicken
The Doom Chicken. So stupid, the Lt. doesn't even buy it enough to bother killing it.

Best One-Liner

They Probably Call You a Lot Worse Than That
"I've gotten to second base since, but they still call me First Base."

Smithee Award Winner! "WHAT?!"

Meanwhile, in a Completely Different Movie/Universe/Headspace
This clip brings a whole new meaning to "meanwhile, in a completely different movie."

Smithee Award Winner! Crummiest Ending

Dream Team vs. Dream Machine
The Recon team defeats the Ma'har and destroys the dream machine and human forces attack successfully on every front.

Worst Picture

This Movie Gave Me Crabs
Battle with the sand crab.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Director Claim to Fame

Greg Pearson

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© 2011-2018 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.