Grabbers (2012)

Nomination Year: 2014
SYNOPSIS:  Great bad premise: Alien carnivorous cthulhuoids that can’t take a high BAC in their victims, so you have to be drunk to fight them! Unfortunately for these particular aliens, they had the misfortune to crash-land off the coast of Ireland. Garda O’Shea is an alcoholic, and his boss is off on the mainland at some important function, leaving him saddled with responsibility and a fresh-faced (and gorgeous) female rookie. Then the aliens land. With the help of a drunken old fisherman and the local know-it-all scientist, the piece together the truth: That they’re under attack and the only way to be safe is to get pissed. But how to protect all the inhabitants at once? They decide to throw a huge party, all invited. The townsfolk go “meh.” They then decide to throw a huge party with free booze. Ding! Of course that works and everyone attends. Now they just have to survive the onslaught of baby alien hatchlings and kill the big daddy. No problem, right, mate? An entertaining Bad film about Irish people getting drunk, but this time to avoid getting eaten by aliens instead of the bugs beneath their skin.

Worst Science

Nature Is a Mysterious Woman
“It’s not a squid. It needs only blood and water to survive.” So, like a politician. “How did that big egg come out of that little thing?” “Nature is a mysterious woman!” What a non-explanation and a way to duck the question.

Best One-Liner

Drunk Logic
“You’re going to ride a horse while intoxicated.” “It’s okay. The horse is sober.”

Acting Appropriately Stupid

A Train Won’t Eat You, Either
“We need more alcohol!” Convinced he’s bullet-proof—well, grabber-proof—the scientist Smith goes outside to snap a photo and prove his amazing discovery, despite the begging of his friends. True, Daddy Grabber didn’t want to eat him. But that doesn’t prevent it from punting his drunken ass over the horizon.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Director Claim to Fame

Bryan Cassidy

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© 2011-2019 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.