Birdemic 2 (2013)
Birdemic 2: The Resurrection
Nomination Year: 2016
SYNOPSIS: SCENE I. Q House. Before Watching.
Alarum. Enter KEVIN, AMY, MATTHEW, JEANNETTE, and Others, with alcohol
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our Birdemic dead.
In film there’s nothing so becomes a Rod as modest stiffness and inanity:
But when the birds of war screech above us,
Then take up our coat hangers against them,
Striking out blindly, summon up courage,
Engage disbelief with swill'dbooze anon --
Ah, Shakespeare. You can’t improve on the classics. So why Birdemic 2? It does allow James Nguyen to revisit certain aspects of the concept that he was not able to tackle in the original Birdemic. Such as the deep and abiding concern that global warming is changing the climate which causes strange and weird things to happen in the environment, such as red rain bringing zombies to life. At least the bird CGI is slightly better. Alan Bagh (Rod) hasn’t notably improved his acting in this movie, but he speaks a lot less. The musical number is more … less … well, there is one. Global warming is still causing birds to fall from the sky in Thebes, Arkansastucky, and polar bears to be stranded on ice floes -- not mention to mention causing killer eagles and vultures (and less-killer cavemen) to emerge from the La Brea Tar Pits.
The metaphor of the Tar Pits is perfect for Whitney Moore (Nathalie), who is clearly able to act, yet is trapped within the script of this movie, unable to escape....
Rod is a movie producer now. His buddy Bill is a director with a script that Rod agrees to fund. Bill hits on a waitress named Gloria who wants to act. He casts her in this movie he’s making. He also casts Nathalie because Rod requests it, and she is trying to break into acting.
Nathalie’s mother shows up in an entirely unnecessary scene and is never seen again.
They walk along the beach, and a woman runs up onto the sand after being attacked by a (giant, jumbo) jellyfish. They run into the ornithologist from the first movie, who has a lovely speech about prehistoric eagles and vultures -- and offers to send Tony (the kid from the first movie) some lovebirds. Susan (the other kid) isn’t in the film because "she got a disease from that fish that Rod cooked." Also, global warming is problematic.
Movie time! And the birds attack while the movie is shooting. Some of the crew dies, but the four principals survive. At an adjacent studio, a slasher movie is shooting. The birds attack, and kill everyone just as our heroes arrive. Unlike the first movie, the birds don’t allow Rod and Nathalie (et al) the time to arrive and make things worse for the people they’re trying to rescue.
They meet a woman who was trapped in a cabin. She travels with them, even though "strange and weird things are happening in the environment right now." Probably due to global warming.
The group runs into the hippie from the first movie. He has a wife now. They are known as the "No Emitting Family" due to their pro-environment reality television show. They use electronics to read instead of books ... made of paper ... which comes from trees! They grow their own food. They use solar energy. They’re so green that they don’t even use toilet paper, which ... comes from trees!
The four principals (and rapidly-dwindling supply of others) proceed to be attacked by cavemen, run into a zookeeper who is safe from bird attacks because his zoo is solar-powered (and its vehicles electric), and take a shortcut ... through a cemetery ... when zombies arise.
At the end of the film, after James Nguyen is clearly visible in a window reflection and the final extraneous character is killed off, the birds repeat their vanishing act from the end of the first film. They slip the audience the African Violet of Broken Friendship, and fly off toward the HOLLYWOOD sign.
I see you weep like Torgo at the farm,
Slipping upon the crap. The film is done:
Follow your soul loos’d, get the hell away --
Cry ‘God Damn Birdemic 2, Smith-ka-teers!’
Exeunt. Alarum, pursued by the ghost of common decency
- "Wanna Run That By Me Again?"
Hippie & wife & "no emitting" lifestyle leading to no eagle attack (includes Toilet Paper Is Made From Trees!)
Do You Think They Were Distracted By Something?
Camera mic in upper-right corner (BDC - And sound guy lounging in mirror!)
Prehistoric eagle & vulture flashback (entire science talk) including "La Brea means The Tar in English"
- Worst Special Effect
Woman "swimming" being attacked by (giant, jumbo) jellyfish and driven off in CGI ambulance
- Crummiest Ending
Birds slowly fly off into Hollywood sign (check out James Nguyen reflected in window (wearing orange cap))
- Worst Picture
44 Picture -> birds invade set, then random topless scene attacked by birds
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© 2011-2019 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.