The Editor (2014)
Nomination Year: 2016
SYNOPSIS: A would-be noir Italian murder mystery, The Editor is a weird tale of a movie editor, Rey Ciso, who lost his fingers in a self-inflicted accident. His wife doesn't love him and abuses him. His boss disrespects him. His assisstant is deeply in love with him. When people start turning up dead on the set, a strange, mustachioed police inspector is called in on the case. He immediately sets out to prove Ciso is the killer. It's an uneven plot filled with most of the cast murdered, everyone but Ciso sleeping with everyone else, the Inspector slapping any woman he's with, mysterious priests, and strange, vaguely gay confrontations. Ultimately, it was Ciso's wife killing everyone. She's a crazy death-cultist. Inspector Slappy turns from trying to pin Rey to trying to help him kill his wife. They succeed in burning her to death. Back at the precinct, the Inspector expects kudos for bringing down the serial killer, but instead…finds that reality has changed. The wimpy assistant is now Chief Inspector, and the doctor from the asylum is now the staff psychiatrist. And there's no such person as the Editor… An ending worthy of Nightwish, only confusing-er.
- "Wanna Run That By Me Again?"
Slap in the Face
We get to see the wife’s bad acting again, until…enter the Inspector. *SLAP* He did you a favor, pal! She even agrees!
- Best One-Liner
Detective: “How do you know so much about the murder? Where were you on that night?” Female suspect: “I was home washing my hair and shaving my pussy.” *Detective lifts her skirt and looks down* Detective: “Your story checks out.”
- Inane Dialogue
“If You Call This Living”
The Editor is watching his protegee do some negative cutting. He then waxes philosophical. “You see that on the screen? That’s as close to living as you and I will ever come.” She asks quizzically, “Aren’t we living now?” His continued silence is priceless.
Kinky Cakey Nookie
Peter the Inspector continues to demonstrate his depravities, including staring at a photo of Konitz during a very personal moment with his blind wife. There is cake involved.
- Crummiest Ending
“The Editor! The Editor!” (or “I’M the God! I’M THE GOD!”)
Poor Peter. After having his fingers shot off by the bad guy (well, bad girl) and helping Rey burn her to death, he reports back to work…only to find things aren’t the way he remembers them. Reality has changed.
- Worst Acting
Cry Cry Cry Cry Cry
It’s clear that the Editor’s wife doesn’t really love him. Or has ever had acting lessons. “You’re not an actor.” Neither are you, lady! If at first you can’t act, cry, cry again.
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