Tagline(s):	You'll be in perfect health before you die.
	Pray It Doesn't Come for You!
	Five minutes after he fell in love, she vanished into thin air.

Nomination Year: 1995

SYNOPSIS: A mad scientist is going around kidnapping diabetics to use in his diabolical, diabetical experiments. To this end, he's employed a crew of loyal goons who utilize an old, vintage ambulance. It's up to a struggling artist to save the day when a pretty woman whom he's barely met is taken captive.

Smithee Award Nominations

"Alas, Poor Yorick"

Chew on This The police detective played by James Earl Jones evidently never saw Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory as a kid, because he continually chews about nineteen sticks of gum simultaneously. Obnoxiously. Hearing rumors of a strange ambulance picking folks up (who are never heard from again), he stops just such a vehicle. His wary investigation comes to a bad end, though, as the "patient" on the stretcher -- to whom James had turned his back -- springs up and stabs him with a scalpel. The ambulance then roars off, does a bootlegger reverse, and runs down the noble detective, who dies...chewing. His jaws open and shut slower and slower until the inevitable. A death scene reminiscent, in a repulsive way, of Joe Morton's gasping death of Miles Dyson in Terminator 2.

Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Larry Cohen	Director of many a Smithee film, and writer of many, many others, including Q, The Stuff and the It's Alive and Maniac Cop franchises. Created TV shows like "Branded" and "The Invaders" (in COLOR!). Brief cameo in Spies Like Us.

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Eric Roberts	Josh Baker	Julia Roberts' less talented brother, yet nearly 600 credits to his name. Was The Master in 1996's Doctor Who movie, the one with the debut of the 8th Doctor. The voice of Mongul in the animated "Justice League" programs.
James Earl Jones	Lt. Spencer	The canonical voice of Darth Vader, then the voice of CNN and AT&T. Super-famous award-winning actor whose basso-profundo has been in movies good and Bad, from Field of Dreams to Ambulance...
Megan Gallagher	Officer Sandra Malloy	Frank Black's wife Catherine on "Millennium;" Jillian Wallace on "24;" Laura Zane on "Suits."
Red Buttons	Elias Zacharai	One of the old, venerated comics of the Friar's Club era. James Martin in The Poseidon Adventure.
Janine Turner	Cheryl	Maggie O'Connell on "Northern Exposure." Katie McCoy on "Friday Night Lights." Dr. Dana Stowe on "Strong Medicine." Jessie Deighan in Cliffhanger.
Eric Braeden	The Doctor	Victor Newman on "The Young and the Restless" for 40 years and counting! Was Capt. Hans Dietrich on "The Rat Patrol" back in the '60s.
Richard Bright	McClosky	Al Neri in The Godfather sequels.
James Dixon	Detective "Jughead" Ryan	Pops up in small parts in a few B-Movies.
Jill Gatsby	Jerilyn
Stan Lee	Marvel Comics Editor	Founder of Marvel Comics. Has cameos in LOTS of films, like this one. Excelsior!
Laurene Landon	Patty	Canadian blonde bombshell who played Theresa Mallory in the Maniac Cop series; was in The Stuff and Airplane II: The Sequel.

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