The Devil's Sword (1984)

Nomination Year: 2018
SYNOPSIS:  The Invisible Crocodile Queen is quite insatiable. Sexually. She often sends her minions around the countryside to kidnap handsome men, whom she then mind-controls into loving her. Sexually. What? The sword? Oh, right! The Devil's Sword. Like from the title. It's just a mcguffin over which the "four most evil and powerful warriors" fight near the end. But of course the good guy, the plucky wife of one of the kidnapped villagers, and the guy's very obviously male horse finally defeat the evil warriors, get the Sword, kill the evil Queen, and win the day.

Most Ludicrous Premise

Banyunjaga vs Zombie Whip Woman
Having dispatched Baldy and the Red Snake King, the remaining warriors cut a deal for the sword. And I do mean cut. Betrayal, chopping, shearing, exploding…

"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"

Invocation to the Invisible Queen
I have to admit I like the old guy’s voice. Here we see the people’s offering to the Invisible Crocodile Queen, whom we’ll see later. Yeah, I know… Anyway, there’s some male nudity. I wonder which of these guys is Bambang and which is Welly…

Stupidest-Looking Monster

Mandala vs The Cyclops
He should’ve kept a better eye out. SLM Cyclops.


Flying Rock
The Queen’s minion Banyunjaga is commanded to rise and stop a wedding. Which he does, with style. One poor villager gets cut in half by the rock against a tree.

Worst Special Effect

Laser Hands and Worse
I can have such a thing? Seriously, they never exhibited this power before. The Devil’s Sword sparkles! There are clearly wires involved. And then a nice reverse-dirtnap.

Worst Picture

What a Shit of Croc
A very Charon-like raftsman is ferrying our heroes across the lake, when… Guys in dumb crocodile suits reverse-film jump “out” of the water and fight them. Includes bad red-paint blood, “decapitation” with spray, and bad-edit spearing.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Barry Prima Prolific Indonesian martial artist 
Gudhy Sinatra Her real name is Gudi 
Advent Bangun  
Director Claim to Fame
Ratno Timoer  

Bryan Cassidy

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© 2011-2019 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.