Attack of the Eye Creatures (1965)

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Attack of the "The Eye Creatures"
Attack of the the Eye Creatures
The Eye Creatures
Invasion of the Saucer Men
Terrors of the Dark
UFOs from Outerspace

Tagline(s):	Is It True? Are Creatures from Space watching us NOW?
	Such Horrors, The Likes Mankind Has Never Seen Before!!! [sic.]
	World Panic as UFOs Approach Earth...

Nomination Year: 1994

SYNOPSIS:

You know it's gonna be Smithee Gold when in the opening credits the title itself has typos--in this case Attack of the Eye Creatures becoming Attack of the THE Eye Creatures. And you would not be wrong.

It's an invasion of completely ineffectual aliens who, when the actors aren't out of their lame costumes, resemble actors in lame costumes. When one of these "Eye Creatures" gets run over by a '60s teenage couple, it sets them on the trail of a Scooby-Doo-like mystery to find out where the alien came from.

Eventually, when no adults would believe them, the local teens dispatch the aliens themselves by surrounding the invasion force with their car headlights. This causes the light-sensitive extraterrestrials to explode, which, if you think about it, is a really strong disadvantage from an invasion standpoint.

For no Earthly reason, the film is punctuated by two army idiots at a monitoring station who, sadly, survive til the end.

Bryan Cassidy

Smithee Award Nominations

Oblivious
"Nice of the Lieutenant To Secretly Hook Up Cable to the Radar" The two army nitwits are watching the eye creatures on the IR monitor and think it's a movie.

"Whoops!"
Must Be a Female -- It Has Different Markings When the "Eye Creatures" attack, you can plainly see one of them has just a head on and a black leotard.

"WHAT?!"
A Rather Major Design Flaw The Army's trying to gain entry into the flying saucer, only to find it's equipped with a convenient fuse with which to blow it up!

Worst Acting

Sergeant Dumb and Corporal Dumber

The two army guys talk at the monitor and reveal their dumbitude.

It's really impossible to choose one Bad performance over the other, but let's go with, oh, the Sergeant, played by Tony Huston.

On second thought, scratch that--it's gotta be Corporal Culver, played by Jonathan Ledford.

Worst Picture

Doesn't Anyone Proofread These These Things?

When the TITLE ITSELF reads, "Attack of the The Eye Creatures," you know it's gonna be Baaad.

It turns out that, apparently, the crew of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" somehow obtained one of the only two copies of the film remaining that has the original (wrong) title. I provide a still here (thanks, guys!) while I try to get my own copy in a digitizable condition.

We Would've Gotten Away With It, Too, If It Weren't for You Meddling Kids and Your Headlights

In a scene that's obviously shot during the day (Night! Day! Night!), the horrible Eye Creatures blow up spectacularly when exposed to light, even car headlights. What an invasion.

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Larry Buchanan	Was a folk musician prior to becoming a director of schlock. Helmed "It's Alive!", Mars Needs Women, and Mistress of the Apes, as well as many Smithee films.

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
John Ashley	Stan Kenyon	Was the narrator's voice on "The A- Team" ("...and if you can find them..."), which he produced. Before that, many B-movies, especially of the bikini/beach-blanket bingo/Gidget-like variety.
Cynthia Hull	Susan Rogers	Cindy Wood in High Yellow and Ann on "Here Come the Brides."
Warren Hammack	Lt. Robertson	Wonder if anyone ever called him "Warren Hammack-tor." He played the titular Johnny Vik and was in several other Bad Movies, like a doctor in Mars Needs Women and a scientist in Zontar, the Thing from Venus
Chet Davis	Mike Lawrence	Was Brad in The Trouble with Women, The Real Mr. Fast in Mars Needs Women, and in this. And that's it.
Bill Peck	Carl Fenton	Bit parts in Under Age, Strange Compulsion, and The Trial of Lee Harvey Oswald. Aaand that's it.
Ethan Allen	Old Man Bailey	Parlayed his fame from this film into a furniture/woodworking empire! No, I'm just kidding, it's not THAT Ethan Allen. This one had parts in only four films, playing geezers.
Charles McLine	Detective	Reed in The Yesterday Machine. Probably related to Shirley (q.v.).
Bob Cowan	Teenager	Was in a lot of shorts where people didn't wear shorts.
Jonathan Ledford	Corporal Culver	AKA "Johnathan Ledford," has eight credits, several Smithee, including Smith in The Amazing Transparent Man and a gate guard in Zontar, the Thing from Venus.
Tony Huston	Culver's Sergeant	Writer of The Sidehackers and Curse of the Swamp Creature, among others.
Shirley McLine	Waitress	"McLine," NOT "MacLaine," the famous "psychic" sister of Warren Beatty. This one only did three movies. Curse of the Swamp Creature, Attack of the the Eye Creatures, and The Trial of Lee Harvey Oswald.
George Edgley	Elderly Detective	Was a planetarium director in Mars Needs Women, and weirdly, Mr. Ledford in Zontar, the Thing from Venus. Weird, because that's the name of one of his co-stars.
Bill Thurman	Guard Sergeant	Carter in Silverado; Coach Popper in The Last Picture Show; an air-traffic controller in Close Encounters of the Third Kind; and Sheriff Joe Bob Thomas in Gator Bait, as well as a great many other Bad/Smithee films.


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