Amityville in Space (2022)

Smithee Award Nominations

Most Ludicrous Premise
How To Launch a Bad Movie The plucky priest cannot defeat Evil Otto, the Red Happy Face of Satan! He gets the spinny-mannequin treatment and loses his hand. But in a burst of piety, he cries out to the Lord to Send This Evil From The Earth! Wooosh! Booom! In a torrent of really, really Bad SPFX, the Amityville house gets launched...into SPAAAACE!

Stupidest-Looking Monster
Hellish Hairball from Harryhausen's Hemorrhoids The valiant crew encounters a "monster" created by the Evil force in the house. It looks like a snowman made of hairballs with googly eyes pasted on, and moves in a stop-motion style that would make Ray Harryhausen puke. All of which is chroma-keyed into the main action.

"Whoops!"

"Medlab" and Crew in Robot Face

The doctor is attacked in her medlab by "tentacles," which are basically a couple of pool noodles being flapped at her by crew members, with the "red eyes" effect superimposed. The "medlab" is very obviously a high school classroom the film crew broke into one night, complete with whiteboard, pull-down projection screen, and a DRY-ERASE ERASER glaringly visible on the right. Wow, clearly 31st-Century tech there.

Meanwhile, the android Vox is about to be transported to the Amity House, but not before we CLEARLY see the crew reflected several times in his mirrored faceplate.

Crummiest Ending

Beyond Today and Past Tomorrow

Father Benna lures "the Evil" into the transporter and the captain beams them out into, uh, "space" and shoots them with a laser beam or something. The good priest goes to Heaven. The captain and doctor get sucked into the black hole, with unknown results. The (now evil) possessed Admiral says all is going according to plan, setting up the sequel. While I finish filling my barf bag.

Worst Acting
Hopping the Red Eye "Satan" looks like a red happy-face! And Jeff K. is acting woodenly as usual.

Worst Picture
Priest Has a Red-Alert Disco Freakout Father Benna is trying to cross an area the Evil doesn't want him to, so he gets sent all these visions and cuts and stupid FX.

"Photon Decelerator"...Riiight

The captain, doctor, and priest are stuck in the Amity house and their possessed crewmate is on the ship, stopping them from using the transporter. BUT! The captain pulls from his pocket a "Photon Decelerator!" With this miracle device, he explains (nearly flubbing the line), they can 'port over to the ship themselves. Nevermind this could have saved their bacon a couple of times before. Why didn't they use it then??

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Mark Polonia	One of Wildeye's premiere directors, he's fast becoming one of the formemost directors of schlock ever, though he's got only about 80 films under his belt so far, including Land Shark, Sister Krampus, and the entire Feeders, Empire of the Apes, and R.I.P Van Winkle franchises.

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Titus Himmelberger	Captain Halstead	One of the Wildeye pantheon of "stars," has been in about 25 movies so far, all Smithee-worthy. Starting with Sharkenstein, moving through Frozen Sasquatch and Camp Murder... You get the idea.
Cassandra Hayes	Dr. Nurmi	One of the Wildeye bunch, she's been in pretty much exclusively Smithee-worthy films, from Amityville Death House to Revolt of the Empire of the Apes to The Man with No Pants.
Jeff Kirkendall	Father Benna	What can I say about Jeff Kirkendall? Arguably the star in the Wildeye crown, he "graces" over 65 Bad films, including It Kills, Bigfoot vs. Zombies, Ghost of Camp Blood, and R.I.P Van Winkle parts 1, 2, and 3.
Tim Hatch	Maitland	Been in many Bad movies, mainly with Wildeye, including Shark Enounters of the Third Kind, Frozen Sasquatch, and, uh, Camp Blood 666 Part 2: Exorcism of the Clown.
Ryan Dalton	Jacowitz	Been in only a few movies so far, but every single one Bad. Like Invasion of the Empire of the Apes, Camp Murder, and Doll Shark.
Michael Korotitsch	Vox	Small parts in about a dozen horrible movies, and counting.


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