Bigfoot Is Hungry and on the Hunt for Female Flesh
A Modern Day Love Story
Nomination Year: 2024
SYNOPSIS:
Shannon inherits a few hundred acres of wilderness land from grandpa, so she takes her brother, her uncle, and a family friend on a hunting trip there...where they are immediately terrorized by a bigfoot! The survivors manage to capture it with the use of tranquilizer darts, but instead of, you know, turning the beast over to authorities or documenting it or anything, they instead attempt to cash in by contacting a kooky cryptozoologist named Dr. Corman (shades or Roger?) who is willing to pay top dollar to keep it secret for his experiments, which he for some reason conducts in Shannon's basement. Corman has this zany idea to breed the sasquatch with a human woman, such that the offspring will prove his Missing Link theory. What??
Even though this plan results in death after death, it does not deter our mad scientist. What hath science wrought?!
The movie boldly states "Based on Real Events!" Uhhhh...yeah...right.
Bryan "Allen Smithee" Cassidy
Smithee Award Nominations
Most Ludicrous Premise
WTF Even Is This Scene??
Dr. Corman attempts to convince Shannon to let him do his experiments and have exclusive rights to her Bigfoot-in-the-Basement. The acting. The premise. The weird suddenly-impaired brother playing Mouse Trap. Groton.
Bigfoot is tearing their camper apart, and the old guy laments: "We're fucked like bugs in a Dixie Cup!"
Worst Science
Evening News Host and Stalin's Bigfoot Army and Sasquatch Mating Program
Between the acting and the content, it's hard to choose what the hell is worst. The anchor's horrible acting? The doctor's? The tale of Stalin's ape/human hybrid experiments? Or their consistent pronunciation of "yooman."
"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"
Two Bares in the Woods
Here we see baby sasquatch seeing things no minor should see: A girl-on-girl porno being shot in the woods. Speaking of being shot in the woods, poor young Cha-Ka pays the price for his voyeurism.
On another note: I had no idea Leonard Cohen was such a perv!
Mainly known for costume design and SPFX, he louses
up the screen as an actor from time to time in Z-level films
like Megaman (where he
played Dr. Light), Muttnik,
Zombies! Zombies Everywhere!,
Maggots, and The Killer Clown
meets the Candy Man.
Perennial Bad actor, mostly in zombie
flicks like Dead Survivorz,
Zombies Incorporated,
Zombieapocalyptica, and
Attack of the Killer Chickens: The
Movie.
"Wanna Run That By Me Again?"
John Orrichio
Edward X. Young
Chrissy Laboy
