Nomination Year: 2025

SYNOPSIS: 

As is often the case with Smithee movies, the title is misleading: There is very little actual cocaine, and hardly any "shark," though there is a mutated shark-like creature.

Told as a flashback from his hospital bed, it's the story of Neil, a merc who crosses paths with drug kingpin Gaurisco. There's an explosion at Gaurisco's experimental lab which unleashes mutant horrors on the world, one of which is a creature vaguely resembling a shark crossed with a lobster crossed with Gumby.

What follows is a nigh-incomprehensible mish-mosh of gangster/spy/thriller tropes, complete with a briefcase as the MacGuffin: It contains the designer drug that turns people into mutant animal-human hybrids!

Smithee Award Nominations

Most Ludicrous Premise
HT-25 Uses Nanobots and Makes Monsters Apparently, this "new class of pharmaceutical substances" uses nanobots to completely transform people and creatures...but there was a lab accident and, BOOM, monsters. Stupid-looking monsters.

Worst Special Effect
Head Melt! Fuente/s/whatever finally brought the briefcase...but got spat upon by the monster. He's not looking too well. Guarisco grabs the case and leaves with an Inane dialogue. Poor Fuente is left to burn out in some horrible SPFX and then turn into a clay head which MELTS. Argh!

"Alas, Poor Yorick"

Monster Explodes for No Reason Guarisco makes off with the precious briefcase, but...there's the "cocaine shark!" (No cocaine, not a shark.) It eats him using the claymation footage from earlier in the film. Then explodes. For no reason. No, it wasn't some explosive contents of the briefcase, because the Doctor retrieves the case intact from the aftermath. Neil brings it home: "I hope this has taught you a lesson."

Stupidest-Looking Monster

Fear the Claymation Lobster-Shark! So, one of the bad guy's goons is looking for fellow goon Fuente or Fuentes or whatever-you-call-him (it's different every mention) but instead runs into the Hammerhead-Shark-Crab Creature. In a scene that could be straight out of "Robot Chicken," he turns into a claymation guy as it eats him. Note also that in the few frames we see him, he has the briefcase he's been looking for...becuase this self-same shot is used later when the other guy WITH the briefcase also gets eaten! Oh, and if you look carefully just before he gets "eaten," you can clearly see the cameraman in the reflection of his sunglasses...and NO monster!

Worst Acting
THIS Guy Again! Kyle Rappaport has got to have one of the most annoying, whiny, drawling, slurring voices in the business...

The Most Efficient Killing Machine on the Planet The death of Renfie...uh...I mean that thug. He gets tossed into a tank with a...lobster-shark? Bad, bad acting, FX, everything.

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Mark Polonia	One of Wildeye's premiere directors, he's fast becoming one of the formemost directors of schlock ever, though he's got only about 80 films under his belt so far, including Land Shark, Sister Krampus, and the entire Feeders, Empire of the Apes, and R.I.P Van Winkle franchises.

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Titus Himmelberger	Neil	One of the Wildeye pantheon of "stars," has been in about 25 movies so far, all Smithee-worthy. Starting with Sharkenstein, moving through Frozen Sasquatch and Camp Murder... You get the idea.
Ken Van Sant	Guarisco	Sometimes credited as "Ken VanSant," he's one of "Wildeye's Finest" who's been in a ton of their Bad Movies. Where to begin? How about with Peter Rottentail, moving through Jurassic Prey and Triclops and right on to Camp Blood: Clown Shark. I'd say you can't make this stuff up, but clearly you can.
Natalie Himmelberger	Persephone	A lesser player in the Wildeye stable; she's been in Virus Shark, Shark Encounters of the Third Kind, Hell on the Shelf, Doll Shark... You get the idea.
Samantha Coolidge	Meagan	A "baby" Wildeye-er, she's only been in about 10 films such as Noah's Shark, Jurassic Exorcist, Dune World, and Camp Murder, among others.
Ryan Dalton	Fuente	Been in only a few movies so far, but every single one Bad. Like Invasion of the Empire of the Apes, Camp Murder, and Doll Shark.
Mark Polonia	The Doctor	Director of over 80 horribly Bad Wildeye films and counting, he is arguably one of the worst Smithee offenders, right up there with Roger Corman, Ed Wood, and Albert Pyun. Often acts in his trash. Like this.
Kyle Rappaport	Victim	An long and growing list of Bad Movie credits: Dewy in Bloody Nun 2: The Curse; Terry in It Kills; Gerald in Jurassic Shark 3: Seavenge.
Jeff Kirkendall	Security Guard	What can I say about Jeff Kirkendall? Arguably the star in the Wildeye crown, he "graces" over 65 Bad films, including It Kills, Bigfoot vs. Zombies, Ghost of Camp Blood, and R.I.P Van Winkle parts 1, 2, and 3.

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