Ever wonder what nebbishy Steve Guttenberg would be like as an action hero? Well, wonder no longer! This film tries (and fails) to make that happen. Steve's a washed-up actor trying to make a comeback... Um. Let me rephrase for the sake of clarity. Steve ALSO PLAYS a washed-up actor trying to make a comeback whose career suddenly erupts...literally. A VOLCANO in Los Angeles spews not just lava, but firebreathing, lava-spitting, giant spiders!
Teaming up with none other than Patrick "Ham Porter" Renna from The Sandlot (now all grown up but still looking 14), he tries to make his way across a city gone mad to rescue his estranged son...and resurrects his career in the process: As a real-life action hero!
Enjoy parts by Nia Peebles as his wife and Michael "The Guy from Police Academy Who Makes Funny Noises" Winslow as his one of his SPFX team.
Bryan Cassidy
Smithee Award Nominations
"Alas, Poor Yorick"
The Miracle of Spider Birth
So, Jordan got bit by a lavalantula, proving in this clip that not only are the spiders a) giant, b) firebreathing, c) lava-spitting, but also d) fatally venomous, and e) REPRODUCE THROUGH THEIR BITE. Talk about gilding the lily.
Not only does poor Jordan die, but she ERUPTS into thousands of baby lavalantulas, which cause her to burst into flames and which immediately leap on their friend Travis and devour him while making him essentially EXPLODE. Ouch.
Ask 100 people "Which actor is most famous for
being undeservedly famous?" and 99 of them will
say "Steve Guttenberg." The 100th will be Steve
Guttenberg. Breakout role: probably Eddie in
Diner, but it could be Carey
Mahoney in the Police Academy
franchise or even Jack Bonner in
Cocoon. Done a lot since, but
mostly he's the butt of jokes.
Is she gonna live forever? Her character
Nicole Chapman thought so on "Fame." Was
also Sydney Cooke on "Walker, Texas
Ranger" and Scarpelli in DeepStar
Six.
You know him as the fat kid, Hamilton
"Ham" Porter in The
Sandlot. But now he's all grown
up and has done a lot since. Not GOOD
stuff, but a lot. Like Bill in
Dark Ride, Tom in
Fear, Inc., and Kliff Young
in You Gotta Believe.
Parlayed an unusual talent for
making weird noises into a decades-
long Hollwood career. You know him
as Larvell Jones in the Police
Academy franchise, but has
beeped, booped, and sh-kowed his way
into Gremlins,
Spaceballs,
Lycanthrope...uh...
Lenny the Wonder
Dog...and more.
Was on "The Young and the Restless"
(Rafael Delgado) and "24" (Tony Almeida).
And a bunch of small parts on TV, mostly. Like
on "Supergirl" and "The Orville."
A well-known little person, he was on
"Seinfeld," "Conan the Adventurer," and
"Special Unit 2" on the, uh, small
screen. Played Big Figure in
Watchmen; Angelo Pike in
Death to Smoochy; and a
dwarf in Mirror, Mirror.
Fin Shepard in the
Sharknado
franchise. 'Nuff said. Or maybe not. He
played the same character in
Lavalantula, proving
they're set in the same universe. And he
was in a LOT of other z-movies. As well as being in
about 300 episodes of "Beverly Hills, 90210."
Does a TON of voiceover work, including
a TON of incidental voices on "Family
Guy" and "American Dad." Was John's dad
in Ted. I'm sensing a
connection with Seth McFarlane...
Mike Mendez
Steve Guttenberg
Nia Peeples
Patrick Renna
Michael Winslow
Marion Ramsey
Carlos Bernard
Danny Woodburn
Ian Ziering
Ralph Garman
