The Fantastic Four (1994)

Nomination Year: 1996
SYNOPSIS:  Based on the characters from the pages of Marvel Comics™. Hyper-brilliant Reed Richards and his equally ingenious classmate Victor Von Doom try to tap into the power of the comets. But the arrogant Von Doom uses the machine before it's been tested and it explodes, apparently killing him. Flash-forward ten years. Reed and his three friends set out to test an experimental rocket. It malfunctions and crashes back to Earth, thanks to sabotage from Von Doom, now Doctor Doom. But instead of being killed, exposure to cosmic rays causes Reed and his friends to gain Fantastic powers! Reed can stretch! Sue can turn invisible! Johnny can shoot fire, self-immolate, and fly! And Ben...well, he gets orange, rocky, and monstrously strong. They team up, calling themselves The Fantastic Four. Eventually they band together to thwart Doctor Doom's fiendish plan to disintegrate New York City with a Death Ray!


"Hey, Boss, It's Some Kinda Invisible Barrier"
Dr. Doom's goons are ever alert, ever long as it's on-screen with them. They apparently can't see the Mole People sneaking up on them from in front, directly off-camera in their field of view.

Worst Science

Make Your Science-Babble Roll
Reed explains that the big diamond will somehow "give out heat in short bursts," which will regulate the cosmic comet energy they'll need for their space flight. Okayyyy.


Human Torch Saves NYC from Untold Dozens in Property Damage
During the climactic battle scene in Doom's castle, Dr. Doom has managed to fire his huge Disintegrator Cannon at New York City. Reed says there's no way he can stop it. Johnny, The Human Torch, pipes up and says: "It's up to me! I've always wanted to do this." He "flames on" and jumps out the window, flying parallel to the energy beam.

Okay, stop right there. This beam travels at the speed of light, right? The city would have been toast before there'd be time to say anything, yet they deliver several lines of dialogue.

Anyway, Johhny is soon seen overtaking the leading edge of the beam (that's one slow death-ray). He flies in front of it just before it hits a building. It hits him full in the chest instead. Is The Human Torch now The Human Vapor Trail? No. He takes the full brunt of the "Death Ray" with nothing worse than some disorientation. Gosh, makes you wonder how much brickwork would've been chipped off that building. He then uses his "nova flame" to blast the rest of the beam into oblivion.

Now just in case the action up to that point wasn't idiotic enough, the Torch then loudly celebrates by flying loop-the-loops through space (we see the Earth below). On fire. And yelling. In space.

Worst Special Effect

Quite a Stretch
Reed discovers his stretch-power entirely by accident. Sue, surprised by her vanishing legs, falls backward in alarm. Instinctively, Reed's arm shoots out about forty feet and catches her head just before it's impaled on a sharp piece of debris. Sadly, the "arm" is clearly just a glove on a pole, thrust toward the camera, coupled with some rotten animation.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Alex Hyde-White Son of Wilfrid Hyde-White ("Pickering" in My Fair Lady and "Dr. Goodfellow" on Buck Rogers
Rebecca Staab Sexy blonde 
Jay Underwood  
Michael Bailey Smith the only actor besides Robert Englund to play "Freddy Kruger" 
Carl Ciarfalio  
Joseph Culp  
Director Claim to Fame
Oley Sassone  
Roger Corman Producer of pretty much everything that was ever crappy, ever, and directed most of it 

Bryan Cassidy

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