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The Giant Spider Invasion (1975)
Invasion of the Giant Spiders

Nomination Year: 1995
SYNOPSIS:  A meteor lands in the middle of Hickville, USA, fragmenting into gems. Only a couple of barely-competent scientists seem to care about the danger, until the "diamonds" hatch into a horde of ordinary-sized tarantula-creatures and one great big tarantula-creature (*cough*parade float*cough*).


Hair of the Spider
A huge tarantula crawls into the blender, and the woman pointedly "happens NOT to" notice (it's hard to do, but she manages) as she makes hubby a Bloody Mary. Yum!

"Wanna Run That By Me Again?"

...And 100% Jerk
During an otherwise normal conversation, the scientist says, "My M.O. is half metaphysics and half-assed-tro physics." I think it was supposed to be a joke.

Stupidest-Looking Monster

The Judges Say 2 out of 10 for Originality
The "mother spider" resembles nothing more than a papier-mache construction, much like a giant Rose Bowl float, strapped to the top of a car. The monster's only ever witnessed just topping a rise or partially hidden behind a hill, so the vehicle it's connected to is never seen, but we know it's there.

Worst Science

Dr. Science and Mrs. Wizard Explain Space Warps
The two scientists speculate on the origins of the spider-comet, and eventually conclude it came from a "space warp." Timmy, the obligatory little boy in the lab, gets a lecture on exactly what a space warp is.

Worst Picture

The Spider Has Landed
The comet comes down as life goes on. Lots of military Stock Footage at the front of this clip, as if the world is mobilizing for impact. Yet strangely, for the rest of the movie, nobody seems to know the comet has landed. Then there's lots of bad dialogue, including some kind of fire-and-brimstone revival. The comet lands in a shower of freak-a-delic special effects. People start calling the sheriff's station, which is manned by Alan Hale, Jr. doing his open-mouthed "little buddy" routine.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Steve Brodie  
Barbara Hale  
Alan Hale, Jr. "The Skipper" on Gilligan's Island 
Robert Easton  
Paul Bentzen  
Director Claim to Fame
Bill Rebane Composed the music for The Giant Spider Invasion, which he then exploited in his other films 

Bryan Cassidy

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© 2011-2019 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.