Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987)

Nomination Year: 1992
SYNOPSIS:  Donna and Taryn are curvaceous DEA operatives who inadvertently get their well-manicured hands on a shipment of diamonds meant for a drug kingpin. Naturally, the drug lord wants his ice back, and the entire situation degenerates into a full-blown drug war. Oh, did I mention the mutant snake?

"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"

Sex on the Beach (Not the Drink)
In what appears to be a non-plot-related incident, we see a happy couple running down the beach. Without fanfare, they stop, and the woman pulls off her top, revealing a pair of pendulous breasts. Suddenly, there's a blanket and a chilled bucket of champagne with strawberries. Don't ask me where all that came from. They make luxurious, sensual love by the ocean.

Stupidest-Looking Monster

Quick, Call Animal Control! And Roto-Rooter! And Toys 'R' Us!
Now, this is not the kind of film in which you'd expect to see a monster at all, let alone a Stupidest-Looking one. But there's a poisonous snake that has to be seen to be believed. The plastic snake rises up out of the toilet accompanied by smoke and flashes of light. It menaces the heroine, and finally kills a pitiable bad-guy who'd already been stabbed. Footage of the rabid snake alternates between shots of a real (harmless-looking) snake and this rigid, plasticized toy snake that someone's clearly manipulating by holding it by the tail.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Ronn Moss  
Dona Speir Playboy Playmate of the Month: March, 1984 
Hope Marie Carlton Playboy Playmate of the Month: July, 1985 
Wolf Larson the only actor to play Tarzan who also has an MBA 
Director Claim to Fame
Andy Sidaris Makes movies about scantily-clad gorgeous female DEA agents 

Bryan Cassidy

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