Hercules and the Amazon Women (1994)
Nomination Year: 1994
SYNOPSIS: This was the Smithees' one and only inadvertant foray into the small screen (but we were justified once the Kevin Sorbo Hercules adventures were available on video). A group of amazon women terrorize the countryside, and Hercules' attempts to stop them fail miserably. In fact, his best friend Iolaus gets killed and his girl gets possessed by his arch-enemy Hera and she dies also. In a funk, Hercules marches up to the temple of Zeus (Anthony Quinn) and calls on Daddy to save him. Zeus reverses time and sets everything right again.
- Crummiest Ending
You Hit "Rewind," I'll Hit (r)"Eject"
Herc takes the body of his dead love to the temple of Zeus where he whines -- excuse me, prays -- "Daddy! I screwed up! Turn back time so I can do it over!" Of course I'm paraphrasing, but geez, what a crybaby! Zeus appears. I guess if you're willing to swallow a skinny beach-bum-looking Kevin Sorbo as the strongest man who ever lived, then you'll buy an aging and overweight Anthony Quinn as Zeus. What's next, Bob Uecker as Moses? Anyway, Zeus spends about five minutes saying why he won't turn back time, to which Herc replies (paraphrasing again), "Please, pretty please! It'll really tick off Hera." "Oh, all right," says Zeus. He blows out a candle Herc's holding and now we get to re-watch the whole film sped up and backwards. It wasn't all that great the first time around, though, admittedly, watching Herc's girlfriend jump backwards out of the chasm where she died is pretty funny. Our hero then does one simple little thing he should have done in the first place and avoids the entire previous plotline. I wish they'd just shown the last 45 seconds of the plot; we could've been spared the rest.
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