Tagline(s):	Identical twin brothers become hybrid A.I., Artificial Intelligence, entities, yet are torn in different directions to achieve justice for humanity.
	A Neil Breen Film

Nomination Year: 2025

SYNOPSIS: 

What's worse than Neil Breen?

TWO Neil Breens!

Yes, Neil plays two parts in this film: A pair of twin brothers that were "chosen" by some mysterious Higher Force to gain superpowers and fight evil. But also, there's a technological component: He claims to be an A.I.-powered humanoid. But one brother wasn't good at it, and his powers were taken away. The brothers become estranged and separated. The "good" twin, Cade, joined a shadowy quasi-governmental agency. The "not as good" twin, Cale, spiraled into drug use and vigilantism. When they find each other again...well, it's not good.

Nothing about this turkey is good. The rest of the movie is an incomprehensible mush of intrigue, spies, scientific buzzwords, a weird fairy, betrayals, and a big-bad named Cuzzx (pronounced, appropriately enough, "Cooze").

Whenever Breen is with "himself," there is glaringly obvious superimposition and use of CGI...AS WITH NEARLY EVERY BACKGROUND IN EVERY SCENE. Seriously, you could have titled this horrendous vomit of a film Neil Breen Discovers New Camcorder Settings, or, as I often call it in my head: Breen Screen.

With such a title, you could be forgiven for mistaking Twisted Pair for something like Testicular Torsion: The Movie; and frankly, given the choice, I'd go with the latter.

Smithee Award Nominations

Worst Special Effect
Breen-Screen Effects Breen puts himself in every scene...artificially. All while giving cheesy voice-overs. He "pets" a beautiful hawk...but not really. He "walks" outside a "building." He makes "superpowered leaps" up to windows. He leads his (stock footage) "strike team" through a mission filled with "explosions." ARGH! It really...really doesn't get worse than this.

Worst Science

Programmable Virtual Reality (Corrupt Version) Breen tries to be James Bond. Fails. His handler is a horrible actress. She hands him his next mission: Programmable VR. (I.e., a stupid glowing blue ball they added in post.) He then goes on to say why PVR is so bad. Something about "digital tribalism." And we catch a glimpse of him in an empty movie theater. A scene I refer to as: "Neil Breen at the Hollywood Premiere of Twisted Pair."

"WHAT?!"
WTF IS EVEN GOING ON HERE? Cade "infiltrates" Cuzzx's mansion, posing as a potential buyer for his illegal goods, like "special art" and "special projects." There's a freaking unexplained FAIRY that appears and disappears. (???) Cuzzx talks in a distorted voice.

Worst Acting
Cartoonish Fight in the Bedroom Cale and his girlfriend have a falling out. They start with some Bad Acting, then end up hitting each other, with cartoony sound effects (when they don't miss completely), punctuated by cartoony wooden lines. He pushes her off the bed and she comically slides off ass-over-head.

"Who Am I? What Am I?" Here are the brothers "together" again. Waxing philosophic and trying to emote.

Worst Picture
Buzzword Meeting I suppose this is supposed to be a meeting of something like the Joint Chiefs, but nobody in the room can act, even though their only lines are an endless string of sciencey-sounding alarmist buzz-speak. UGH.

Incomprehensiblest Ending Cade was forced to kill his girlfriend, who turned out to be an enemy spy. But the "Force" reconstructed her briefly as A.I...I think. It's hard to tell. Finally, Breen gives a cheesy speech backed by the worst SPFX ever and a soundtrack stolen from, I dunno, Blessed Union of Coldplay. "Everyone has the right to be loved. Everyone has the right to love...and peace. I'll be right here." Whatever you say, E.T. Christ on a cracker. This movie was BAD.

It's Breens All the Way Down [Still] As in other films of his, Breen does everything, but doesn't want to make it too obvious. But in the end he essentially states "every company in the credits that has an 'N' or a 'B' in it is really just me." AND IT'S ALL OF THEM. Everything from cinematography to craft services. It's like that old cartoon: "Pitcher: Bugs Bunny! Catcher: Bugs Bunny! First Base: Bugs Bunny! Second Base: Bugs Bunny!" etc., etc.

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Neil Breen	Though with fewer than 10 director credits as of this writing, Breen--and I say this without hyperbole--could easily take his place among the Smithee greats like Ed Wood, Roger Corman, Cirio Santiago, and Fred Olen Ray. Just (try to) watch his offerings like Double Down, I Am Here...Now, and Twisted Pair. Yikes.

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Neil Breen	Cade Altair / Kane Altair	What to say about Neil Breen? The fact that he has escaped Smithee notice until this late in the game is astounding. A triple threat (writer/director/actor)--and I do mean threat--his acting makes Tommy Wiseau's seem like Brando.
Sara Meritt	Alana	Only this and one short. Sara has little Meritt...
Siobhan Chevy Ebrahimi	Donna	AKA "Siobhan Ebrahimi," just did this. And a TV show called "Dinero." And Breen misspells her name in various ways in the credits and promotional materials: "Siohbun," "Siobhon"... Smh.
Denise Bellini	Agency Director	Only this.
Greg Smith Burns	Cuzzx	AKA "Gregory Smith Burns," this is his only credit, poor guy. Who wants to be known as "Cooze" throughout his acting career?
Ada Masters	Winged Muse	The only thing she ever did. Geez, it's like Neil Breen ruins acting careers for good!

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