The Black Scorpion is not your typical super-heroine. For one thing, she has this nifty car that can change into any vehicle she desires. For another, her modus operandi seems to be to capture bad guys by having sex with them. In this film, she battles the vicious Breathtaker and his Wheezing Warriors. Yep, you can probably guess the rest.
Bryan "Alllen Smithee" Cassidy
Smithee Award Nominations
Most Ludicrous Premise
The Wheezing Warriors
The Breathtaker tells his story and why he's creating his army of "Wheezing Warriors."
"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"
He Really Got to the Bottom of the Case
Darcy has the hots for her ex-partner (as in, they were both cops together, not ex-lovers). But when she makes a move on him, he can't handle their platonic history, so he rejects her advances.
But that means nothing to the masked vigilante Black Scorpion! She waylays (and I mean lays) him in his own apartment, has her way with him -- and it's kinky sex, riding him with vinyl and some BDSM -- then...tases the guy afterward!
I'll leave it to you, gentle reader, to ascertain the level of inappropriateness here...
A successful international model, she
went into acting... Uh. Was Eve in
See No Evil, Hear No Evil;
Rachel Varney in Bird on a
Wire; and Marla in The
Runestone. As well as the TITular
Black Scorpion...
Whether it's his five-year stint on "SNL," or
playing "Chocolate Chip Charlie" in The
Stuff, or Earl on "2 Broke Girls," you've
seen his energetic, comedic character portrayals.
Charlie Bowdre in Young
Guns; 3-D (the goon with the 3-D
glasses) in the Back to the
Future films; Billy Tessio in
Stand By Me; and Alton
Hatcher on the "Storm of the Century"
miniseries. Oh! And voiced Wrobel in the
Red Dead Redemption II
videogame.
Lovita on "The Steve Harvey Show";
Jonelle on
"All of Us"; China in
Friday; and
Keisha in *deep breath* Don't Be a
Menace to South Central While Drinking
Your
Juice in the Hood.
Big man who plays little parts on TV and
movies. Sgt. Schnieder in
WarGames; Dwight in
Burlesque; and the Big
Bopper in La Bamba. Played
"Tom
Arnold" in the TV biopic Tom &
Rosanne.
Has been the "incidental," "background,"
"additional voices" voice actor in
nearly EVERY ANIMATED THING EVER. Most
notably "Transformers" (he's usually
Blitzwing). Was also the priest in
Johnny Got His Gun.