Nomination Year: 2000

SYNOPSIS: Who knows? You watch it, then explain to *me* what's going on....

OK, I'll give it my best shot. Restorations on the foundation of a Gothic cathedral accidentally release some sort of malevolent force. The Cathedral (excuse me, I mean The Church) seals itself off in Rube Goldbergian fashion, and the protagonists have to decide whether to escape or collapse the cathe-- Church from within to re-seal the evil.

Smithee Award Nominations

"Wanna Run That By Me Again?"
The History of Gothic Cathedrals Apropos of pretty much nothing, the professor launches into the history of Gothic cathedrals, and the mystery of their construction. Because those construction technique were so suddenly advanced, they might have come from aliens. Or Satan.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Worst Special Effect
What's That in the Road? A Head? It's the medieval era flashback, and the knights are terrorizing the peasantry. One knight chops off a peasant's head, and the whole thing is reminiscent of Wooden Dummy Theater.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

"Alas, Poor Yorick"
Subway Trains Don't Have Cowcatchers A woman falls through an unstable floor and only her boyfriend's hand keeps her from tumbling into a seemingly bottomless abyss. But, wait...just a few feet down, there's ground...and rails...and...hey, what's that light?	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Stupidest-Looking Monster
Iguana Monster That's right -- one of the evils that the cathedral Church menaces our heroes with is an iguana monster.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Acting Appropriately Stupid
That Special Glow This whole thing has been set up like a Rube Goldberg puzzle so that if the evil comes back, the Church can be collapsed in on itself. So we need to be very careful. Hey, where's this light under this cross coming from? I better lean waaaaaay over to look down in this pit thing.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Crummiest Ending
Buh. Guh. Why? The heroes collapse the Church and trap the evil within at the cost of their own lives. Only the teenage girl survives. A couple years later, she wanders by the ruins and decides to release the evil again.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Michele Soavi	sometimes credited as: Michael Saroyan, Michael Shaw, or Michael Soavi

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Barbara Cupisti	<Not Yet in Database>
Hugh Quarshie	<Not Yet in Database>	What a great name!
Tomas Arana	<Not Yet in Database>	AKA "Thomas," he was a once-Shakespearean actor who was in The Hunt for Red October (okay, as the cook), but sunk to this.
Feodor Chaliapin, Jr.	<Not Yet in Database>
Michele Soavi	<Not Yet in Database>	director of about a dozen films, including The Church

© 1992-2024 Bryan D. Cassidy and Greg Pearson. All Rights Reserved.