Angels Die Hard (1970)

Nomination Year: 2000
SYNOPSIS:  This film doesn't really have a plot. It just seems to meander from event to event until it runs out of movie. Memorable scenes include the biker poetry reading, the spaghetti rape sequence, and the funeral oration.

"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"

I'll Have What They're Having
It's the spaghetti rape sequence. Even describing it this way accords it more sense than it possesses.

Worst Cover Copy

Los Angeles Dies Hard
It's a drawing, first of all, instead of a photo. And the plot that it describes is not entirely unlike the actual plot of the film. Because both involve motorcycles.


Copter Three, Please Clear the Shot
In the opening scene, as you're looking down at the bikers winding their way along the scenic mountain road, you also get a nice shot of the corner of the helicopter that they're shooting from.

Smithee Award Winner! Crummiest Ending

The Flashback Crash
There's a car chase, and then there's a flashback to the murder of the biker that brought the gang to the small town. And then a flash of gunfire of some sort. And a car goes off the road, and catches fire. All to a rousing 60s-style protest song. The End.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Tom Baker NOT the Dr Who guy 
William Smith NOT Will Smith. This guy is a big bruiser who played "Falconetti" in Rich Man, Poor Man and fought with Clint Eastwood in Any Which Way You Can 
R.G. Armstrong Been in lots, from "Lewis Vendredi" of Friday the 13th: The Series to "Pruneface" in Dick Tracy 
William Bonner  
Richard Compton  
Dan Haggerty "Grizzly Adams" 
Beach Dickerson  
Director Claim to Fame
Richard Compton also directed the pilot and four episodes of the Babylon 5 TV series 

Kevin Hogan

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