Angels Die Hard (1970)

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Angels Die Hard!
Rough Boys
The Violent Angels

Tagline(s):	They Live Hard...They Love Hard...
	CHOPPER OUTLAWS!... Riding Their Hot Throbbing Machines to a Brutal Climax of Violence!
	Their Battle Cry -- "Kill the Pigs!"
	Hot-Blooded Machines and Hopped Up Women!

Nomination Year: 2000

SYNOPSIS:

This film doesn't really have a plot. It just seems to meander from event to event until it runs out of movie.

Memorable scenes include the biker poetry reading, the spaghetti rape sequence, and the funeral oration.

Kevin Hogan

Smithee Award Nominations

Worst Cover Copy
Los Angeles Dies Hard It's a drawing, first of all, instead of a photo. And the plot that it describes is not entirely unlike the actual plot of the film. Because both involve motorcycles. Oh, and the "star's" claim to fame is allegedly having been "Falcon Eddie" on "Rich Man, Poor Man." The character's name is actually "Falconetti." Clearly, much research was done here.

"Whoops!"
Copter Three, Please Clear the Shot In the opening scene, as you're looking down at the bikers winding their way along the scenic mountain road, you also get a nice shot of the corner of the helicopter that they're shooting from.

"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"
I'll Have What They're Having It's the spaghetti rape sequence. Even describing it this way accords it more sense than it possesses.

Crummiest Ending
There's a car chase, and then there's a flashback to the murder of the biker that brought the gang to the small town. And then a flash of gunfire of some sort. And a car goes off the road, and catches fire. All to a rousing 60s-style protest song. The End.

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Richard Compton	Also directed the pilot and four episodes of the "Babylon 5" TV series, as well as many "Sliders" and some "Charmed" episodes. And one "ST:TNG."

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Tom Baker	Blair	NOT the Dr Who guy! This guy was a no-talent slab of beef who landed a couple leads like this and I, a Man.
William Smith	Tim	NOT Will Smith. This guy is a big bruiser who played Falconetti on "Rich Man, Poor Man" (NOT "Falcon Eddie" as the cover of Angels Die Hard would have you believe). He also portrayed "Kimo" Carew on "Hawaii Five-O," and fought with Clint Eastwood in Any Which Way You Can.
Gary Littlejohn	Piston	Was the sheriff in Badlands and, more cool, the motorcylcist in The Gumball Rally!
Beach Dickerson	Shank	Also produced Angels Die Hard and many other Smithee films. Acted in many super-cheesy sci-fi and teen coming-of-age flicks. Was even mentioned on "MST3K" during Teenage Caveman.
William Bonner	Houston	Seemed to get a lot of bit parts in Smithee movies in the '60s and '70s. Was in The Adventures of Flash Beaver and Black Shampoo under the pseudonym "Jack Mehoff." cough
R.G. Armstrong	Mel	A long career, which included playing Lewis Vendredi on "Friday the 13th: The Series" to "Pruneface" in Dick Tracy to Diehl in Children of the Corn.
Dan Haggerty	Bearded Biker	TV's "Grizzly Adams." Then typecast as a wild-haired mountain man in pretty much everything.
Richard Compton	Restaurant Owner (uncredited)	Was on a couple episodes of "ST:TOS."


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