Ninja Wars (1984)
Black Magic Wars
Iga Magic Story
Nomination Year: 2001
SYNOPSIS: In Feudal Japan, the strange sorcerer Kashin Koji predicts that whoever can win the love of the woman Ukyodayu shall rule the world. Kashin gives wicked Donjo his five Devil Monks to help him achieve this end. The monks kidnap Ukyodayu's twin, Kagaribi, who kills herself rather than cooperate. Kagaribi's ninja lover, Jotaro, swears revenge against the Donjo and the Demon Monks, and he'll face Hell itself to get it!
- "Wanna Run That By Me Again?"
Why Did We Kidnap This Woman Again?
Donjo reveals his evil plan: "We've kidnapped this woman to make a secret aphrodisiac from her tears...."
Secret Ninja Vomit Powers, Activate!
Our hero is being menaced by one of the Devil Monks. He jumps into a tree, but alas! The Devil Monk has amazing firehose-like projectile vomiting powers, and actually knocks our hero out of the tree by the power of his vomit.
- Crummiest Ending
Go to Hell and Die!
Jotaro follows Kashin Koji to Hell to rescue his love. She's on a burning cross. He jumps up, they kiss, they die.
Koji: "He who wins the love of Ukyodayu holds the world in his hand."
The (Crummy) End.
[Smithee Film Gallery] [Return to Lobby]
© 2011-2019 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.