Demon Keeper (1994)
Nomination Year: 2001
SYNOPSIS: They can keep it. In a nutshell, Remy (Edward Albert) is a con-artist psychic who wants to bilk a rich old lady out of her money. Alex (Dirk Benedict) is a REAL psychic hired by the old lady's son to flush out Remy's chicanery. Knowing he has to do something really special to fool Alex, Remy screws with an ancient book and releases a demon which kills them all one by one, possessing people through their weaknesses. And believe me, there's a lot of those.
- Most Ludicrous Premise
Asmodeus Is Grumpy First Thing in the Morning
Dirk abjures the demon to come out and explain things, hamming it up all the way (Dirk, that is -- the demon has an excuse). The Great and Powerful Asmodeus appears to tell them that they've disturbed him and he will claim their souls before dawn.
- "Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"
The scene at the window was going to be a Worst Acting clip for the girl, until I changed my nomination to Dirk (you'll see why later). She says Loki "attacked" her. Right. The real "action" starts when Remy's two female assistants decide to relax with a little massage. How convenient. That's when the demon kicks in and bring's out Dorothy's Lesbian tendencies. Am I the only one who thinks "Asmodeus" looks like a Ferengi?
- Deus Ex Machina
God Says No
Asmodeus has taken over Remy and is about to kill Alex. Or at least he WOULD, if the DEMON HIMSELF didn't warn Alex to look out. And as if that isn't enough, they go out into the "raging" thunderstorm, Dirk trips and looks whiny, then (you guessed it) BOOM! Remy's uplifted sword acts as a lightning rod.
- Stupidest-Looking Monster
Loki, the Amazing Dog Puppet
Remy's assistant (who I was grooming for a Worst Acting nod) is feeding the dog. I don't think he'll eat much, lady, because your dog's A PUPPET! Now would someone like to tell me WHY they'd need to make a puppet dog? I mean, how hard/expensive could it be to get a dog? They're free from the pound! Even a still photo of a German Shepherd with a guy saying "Woof, Woof" in the background would've been better than this. And later, we see they HAD a real dog! I guess the dog's agent wouldn't let him have more than so many minutes of screen time.
- Worst Acting
Somehow, Dirk Outdoes Even Himself
At the end, Dirk REALLY overacts as he challenges the demon to enter him and ("with this ring I thee wed...") traps the demon in his own soul. OUR souls, if they haven't been lost earlier, were destroyed by Dirk's acting.
- Worst Picture
"Call Upon a Higher Power"
Two people are dead, and Remy comes clean. Alex (after first suggesting there's nothing he can do) says he can do something: a seance! (We all know how useful they were in the Great House at Collinwood, don't we?) Then comes the part I adore: Alex asks everyone to call upon a "higher power." There's a pause, and we see...a naked woman! There's your Higher Power. Uh, Dirk, I think you're jamming the frequencies a little here. Check out Edward Albert's face during the seance. Even he doesn't buy it.
- Worst Picture
Swing and a Miss, Strike Three
This clip pretty much speaks for itself.
Ah, there's nothing like an old lady pitching over a balcony.
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