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The Dunwich Horror (1970)

Nomination Year: 1997
SYNOPSIS:  The plot of this film runs like a bad HP Lovecraft adaptation. Which is not so amazing, since this is a bad HP Lovecraft adaptation. Perhaps that's not entirely fair. What this is is an early-70s adaptation of Lovecraft, which means it moves at the speed of molasses. Your best bet is to just read the story. It might take longer, but it won't feel like it. The film is the story of Wilbur Whateley (Dean Stockwell with big hair). He shows up, steals the Necronomicon, seduces/abducts a coed from a nearby University, practices unspeakable rituals with her, and eventually is killed. This is available on DVD (probably due entirely to Dean Stockwell's presence in the cast).

Smithee Award Winner! "Alas, Poor Yorick"

Getting into the Spear-It
Wilbur Whateley is struggling with a security guard. At stake: the Necronomicon, which Whateley wants to steal and the guard wants to protect. After a bang-up fight, Whateley has been seriously knocked around, and the guard goes to call the cops. As he dials, Whateley grabs a lance from a nearby knight in armor. The guard sees this and for some unfathomable reason charges Whateley, running himself directly onto (and impaling himself on) the lance. Ouch. Shoulda seen it coming.

Stupidest-Looking Monster

"Hey, Let's See How You Look When You're a Billion Years Old!"
There is a brief appearance of Yog-Sothoth. Not only does The Elder God only appear for an instant and out of focus, he's small and fuzzy. A refugee from "Jim Henson's Cthulhu Babies," perhaps.

Crummiest Ending

A Younger Elder God?
Wilbur Whateley is coming to the crucial part of his unspeakable ritual, but Professor Armitage (Ed Begley, Sr.) intervenes, and Wilbur is killed. Yog-Sothoth is briefly glimpsed (see above), but then vanishes. Professor Armitage comforts the kidnapped coed Nancy, assuring her that everything is over and that even though Whateley's father was "not of this Earth," at least the last Whateley is dead. And as they walk away, the scene suddenly (gasp!) freezes, and a strange sound is heard, not unlike (gasp!) a heartbeat, and the camera zooms in on Nancy's stomach, to show -- in a lame, animated "X-Ray" -- that (gasp!) she's pregnant!

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Sandra Dee America's Sweetheart of the 50's 
Dean Stockwell "Al" on Quantum Leap; started as The Boy with Green Hair
Ed Begley  
Sam Jaffe  
Beach Dickerson  
Director Claim to Fame
Daniel Haller  

Kevin Hogan

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