Future Kick (1991)

Nomination Year: 2002

SYNOPSIS: Another Roger Corman movie. According to the opening voice over: In the future, the rich will live on the moon. Earth will be left to the poor, the criminals, and the corporations. To fight crime, they created cyborg supercops designed to root out the corrupt and bring the criminals to justice. But the corporations turned out to be the criminals and they created the fascist corporate police (who are never once referred to without the appellation "fascist") to hunt them down and kill them.

This has nothing to do with the plot of the movie.

In the actual plot, a VR designer who lives on the moon heads to Earth to meet with his publisher. While there, he meets with a corporate whistleblower and obtains evidence that one of the corps is involved in illegal organ trading. Unfortunately, they are promptly killed by the organleggers. The VR designer's wife then comes to Earth to find out what happened to her husband. In passing, she runs into the last surviving android (world kickboxing champion Don "The Dragon" Wilson) (it turns out there were only ten androids to begin with, they were experimental, and they never made it out of LA ... however, the fascist corporate police seem to number in the hundreds, if not thousands). A bunch of other things happen, mostly to the wife, but it's all badly lit and hard to follow.

Just to make it a total rip-off, there's almost no kickboxing.

Greg Pearson

Smithee Award Nominations

"Alas, Poor Yorick"
Batter Up! Batter up! You know the expression "knock his block off"? Normally you don't see it interpreted so literally.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Inane Dialogue
Wanna Bet? "There's nobody in here." In the sense that "There's someone in my room."	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Crummiest Ending

It's Just Crummy

The wife and the cyborg are running from the fascist corporate police and some other guy. They strap themselves into the chairs for Laserblade (the world's most boring blood sport) and use the Laserblade arena to kill one of the main villains (all the villains look alike and it's really badly lit, so I can't tell who it was). Then something really crummy happens.

Hint: You remember how her husband was a VR designer?....

Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Damian Klaus

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Don "The Dragon" Wilson	<Not Yet in Database>	He can kickbox (allegedly the greatest in the history of the sport), not that you'd know it from most of his film appearances. Did many American kung- fu/action flicks, including Johnny Woo in the Ring of Fire franchise. And, weirdly, a different main character in each of the Bloodfist series.
Meg Foster	<Not Yet in Database>	Actress famous for her eerie ice-blue eyes and wide mouth; was the second "Cagney" of "Cagney & Lacey" and did lots of bit sci- fi/fantasy parts.
Chris Penn	<Not Yet in Database>	brother of actor Sean Penn & musician Michael Penn; has a black belt in karate; did not study martial arts with, from, or by Chuck Norris
Linda Dona	<Not Yet in Database>	Nancy Eckert on "General Hospital"; often plays bad girls, strippers, etc.
Beach Dickerson	<Not Yet in Database>	Also produced Angels Die Hard and many other Smithee films. Acted in many super-cheesy sci-fi and teen coming-of-age flicks. Was even mentioned on "MST3K" during Teenage Caveman.
Rodger Hall	<Not Yet in Database>
Eb Lottimer	<Not Yet in Database>
Maria Ford	<Not Yet in Database>


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