Gor (1988)

Nomination Year: 2002

SYNOPSIS: A dweeby scientist named Tarl is transported into an alternate universe after a car accident. Just as he arrives an evil overlord leads his army into the sacking of a defenseless town, the enslavement of most of its inhabitants, and the theft of its magical hearthstone. Guess what turns out to be the one thing that can get our hero home?

It was only later, when I mentioned it to someone else, that I learned that Gor is based on a book which is somewhat ... infamous ... among the S&M/bondage set. The film, however, is rated PG, making it literally a porn movie without the porn. Also without the acting or production values. But with, unfortunately, Jack Palance.

Greg Pearson

Smithee Award Nominations

Most Ludicrous Premise

Let's Just Pretend

The refugees from the village take Tarl to a cave, where they explain the plot. Apparently travelers from other universes come through all the time and are great heroes. Even though Tarl obviously isn't, they have to pretend he is or the people will become demoralized. So, they have to turn Tarl into a warrior and get him to lead the expedition to recover the hearthstone. Uh huh.

Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Oblivious
"Think Sand-Colored Thoughts" Tarl and his companions "sneak" onto the caravan by waiting until the 50 guards are looking the other way, then running up behind them.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Worst Science
...But Does It Have the Ring of Truth? In the film's opening scene, the physics professor hero lectures his class on how his family heirloom ring can be used to travel into alternate universes. For some reason, they don't really believe him. And they say kids today are stupid.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

"Cutting Butter With A Chainsaw"
That's Gotta Hurt The villain is pushed into his execution fire pit...and explodes!	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Acting Appropriately Stupid
The Worlds' Stupidest Guard No, they're not really the hookers from last night, and you weren't so good that now they want to do you for free.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Fritz Kiersch	Directed both Children of the Corn and Crayola Kids Adventures: Tales of Gulliver's Travels, which says it all...

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Urbano Barberini	<Not Yet in Database>
Oliver Reed	<Not Yet in Database>	Prolific actor who was "Bill Sykes" in Oliver!
Paul L. Smith	Surbus	Was The Beast Rabban in 1984's Dune, Falkon in Red Sonja, and Bluto in the Popeye movie.
Rebecca Ferratti	<Not Yet in Database>	Playboy Playmate of the Month 6/1986
Jack Palance	<Not Yet in Database>	Gravelly tough-guy through and through. Has been playing badasses in countless films, including Curly in City Slickers and Yves Perret in Tango & Cash. Famously did one-handed push-ups at the Oscars at a very advanced age.
Graham Clarke	<Not Yet in Database>
Arnold Vosloo	<Not Yet in Database>	"The Darkman" in Darkman II & III, and "High Priest Imhotep" from the Mummy movies.
Philip Van der Byl	<Not Yet in Database>


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