| "Wanna Run That By Me Again?" | |
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When Someone's Got a Gun on You, Confuse 'Em Hess (the one rendered mute by the doctor's experiments) for some reason points a gun at the hero. I think it's because he suspects him of letting Nelson go. But the hero talks his way out of it with a string of "logic" (i.e., BS) so convoluted, that Hess just forgets the whole thing.
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| Worst Special Effect | |
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They Ran Out of Bullets -- The Filmmakers, Not the Characters They've gotten Nelson out of Iron Thunder and have chased him to this convenient field of junk (I'm guessing this has got to be something that really exists in the California desert -- there's no way this film had the budget to build something like this, and it seems too authentic). As the -- ahem -- "bullets" begin to fly, we see one stray squib (must've been their only one), followed by a barrage of gunfire...which is really nothing more than SCRATCHES on the FILM (or perhaps really, really poor CGI). Look for the two goons running by a grey dumpster. You'd think they could've at least invested in some *firecrackers* for Pete's sake, but no.
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| "Alas, Poor Yorick" | |
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An Airtight Case Early on in the film, they establish that the helmet for the tank is airtight, "because of the fiberoptics," whyever the hell that should matter. Never mind that both tanks seem to operate quite well with or without the helmet, or that there seems to be no air supply to the helmet, or that the helmet's faceguard slides up. Anyway, the hero and the woman are trying to defuse Nelson's bomb, when they're interrupted by the doctor, who essentially annoys the hero to death with a "Language!" A portion of the charge explodes in his face and jams the faceplate shut, so his helmet fills with his own blood. He bolts out of the tank in terror (remember his phobia?). His friends chase him but to no avail: he drowns. Mind you, now, this is the supposed HERO of the film, whom they went out of their way to recruit, and who led things up to now. And he drowns moronically in his own blood in his idiotic airtight helmet 3/4 of the way through the film! The rest of the movie goes on without him! He was the hero! Arrrgh!!! You just know he had no more Stunt Double points and he didn't have enough Fame for a Film Break.
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| "Let's Up The Rating To 'R'" | |
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Love and War The two main characters are stalking an insane gunman through a complex environment of junk. He could be anywhere, ready to kill them on sight. What better time to suddenly bring up their past "history" and have a little nookie besides? When Shayne and I first watched it, we could tell what was coming the instant the woman laid down her backpack. We weren't disappointed. Meanwhile, as they're having sex, their platoon is getting slaughtered by their target. They get dressed in record time and rush off to help.
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| Worst Acting | |
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"Language!" T. Bruce Page plays the mad doctor in charge of the project, and plays it badly. He has a "thing" against profanity, and every time a character swears in his presense, he says "Language!" As the film progresses and you see what the thought-tank is capable of (or rather what it's NOT capable of), you start to see that he was probably a neurologist who needed to be an engineer. There isn't one of the tank's functions that needs to be jacked into a human brain. And besides, the readouts and controls all seem to require manual handling anyway!
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| Worst Picture | |
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The Great Copter Crash The rest of the team goes on without their leader, but Nelson uses the remote control on Iron Thunder to push their proto-tank over a cliff. The woman survives, Hess is knocked out, and Geeky Goon buys it. Meanwhile, the doctor decides this has gone on long enough and flies out in a helicopter to take matters into his own hands. As the woman (the female LEAD, recall) flags down the copter, Nelson fires his small gun ONCE, and pegs the copter pilot. The pilot yells "Shit!" as she dies, and the doctor's last word is "Language!" as the copter explodes for no apparent reason. As if that's not enough, the flaming stock-footage wreckage lands smack on the female lead in a really bad shot ("Noooo! Noooo!" slo-mo, etc.).
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| Director | Claim to Fame |
|---|---|
 Jay Woelfel |
I don't know if it rhymes with "woeful" or "awful" |
| Actor | Character | Claim to Fame |
|---|---|---|
| Richard Hatch |
<Not Yet in Database> | "Apollo" on Battlestar Galactica |
| Don Hughes |
<Not Yet in Database> | |
| Susannah Devereux |
<Not Yet in Database> | |
| T. Bruce Page |
<Not Yet in Database> | |
| Frank Ruotolo |
<Not Yet in Database> | |
| Chad Theroux |
<Not Yet in Database> | |
| Christopher Grey |
<Not Yet in Database> | Voice of Avalanche on X-Men: Evolution |
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