Tagline(s):	The Future Of Mankind Is History
	Earth 2064. The Future Of Mankind Lies With One Man.
	Earth 2064 ... The Longest Light Year Has Begun

Nomination Year: 2003

SYNOPSIS: 

A soldier on a space station is assigned to the "freezer," for prisoners as a result of a botched operation. When the prisoners escape, he must stop them from taking over the space station.

Not even bad in a good way -- just BAD.

Whoo-ee! That sound you hear is the careers of C. Thomas Howell and Matt Frewer burning up on re-entry just before they smack into the ground. I hate to be a jerk, because I loved Frewer in Max Headroom, but this movie was a pile of cack. Even as a fan of cornball B-grade sci-fi flicks, I was appalled (when I was awake). Nonsensical plot twists, vein-popping overacting, and a convoluted script all add up to a big stinking plate full of 'who cares?' all around. This one's not even worth renting on cheap night -- pick up Cube instead, or you may be permanently soured on all things celluloidal and Canadian.

Smithee Award Nominations

Deus Ex Machina
Going Down? The power went out when the rebel leader's coup successfully took over the ship, leaving our hero (Brody, played by Colin Cunningham) stranded on the bottom cryofloor. He's the "man of action" type, so he started the long, long, long climb up the elevator shaft. Guess what happens 147 floors later?

Worst Science

The Plot Fell into a Burning So-Called "Ring of Fire" The scene: the vast cryoship Legacy, orbiting an Earth laid waste by the last atomic war. These scientific cuties are going to use a solar flare and -- of all things -- the Hubble telescope to shoot a burst of energy through the network of remaining satellites, thus re-ionizing the atmosphere and making everything instantly okay again. Uh-huh. Don't know about you, but I wouldn't want the fate of the Earth dependent on the Hubble...

Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

"WHAT?!"

And He Sinks It! Well, instead of a particle physicist, they accidentally unfroze his pool shark twin brother to save the world but, hey, it's okay because it's "all just angles and velocities, right?" To add insult to stupidity, he goes on to do just that, using the shuttle to knock the Hubble into just the right angle -- with the help of a computer pool program! The baddies are blown up with their own lasers, providing just enough energy for the satellite network to rejuvenate the Earth and everyone's happy.

Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Acting Appropriately Stupid
Ooo, Baby, You Make Me So Cold The goon has been sent down to thaw a specific scientist for the rebel leader. Brody, who's really a security officer, poses as a cryotechnician and takes care of the horny goon with some clever fast-talk. I let the scene run long so that you could also witness C. Thomas Howell emerging from cryosleep with, yes, a POOL CUE, which he actually uses...	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Robert Lee	He was the assistant director of several Smithee films, always behind the scenes, waiting... But unfortunately also found time to helm the Cyberjack flicks.

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Colin Cunningham	Cal Brody	Major Davis in the Stargate franchise; John Pope on "Falling Skies"; TC on "Preacher"; Was Tripp in The 6th Day.
Monika Schnarre	Kendall Black	Canadian hottie who was Ivana Richards Vanderveld on "The Bold and the Beautiful" and the Sorceress on the "Beastmaster" TV show.
Matt Frewer	Max Durbin	"Max Headroom" himself (as well as, sadly, Lawnmower Man II). Played Moloch in the awesome Watchmen movie.
C. Thomas Howell	Tucker	Rae Dawn Chong's ex-husband who was Ponyboy Curtis in The Outsiders; was also Soul Man and Tyler in E.T. . Has a massive portfolio of Bad Movies, several in the Smithees.
Rachel Hayward	Alexa Stant	Does mostly RomComs and TV bits.

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