Black Friday (2000)

Nomination Year: 2004
SYNOPSIS:  The main character comes home to find armed commandos surrounding his house. Some terrorists have stolen biohazard material and are holed up in his house. His family is being held inside. The cops need the plans since his home was custom-built. Of course, it eventually turns out that every bit of this is a lie.

Smithee Award Winner! Worst Cover Copy

The Warrior Has Been Chosen (Or Has It?)
"The Warrior Has Been Chosen" - that's what it says on both front and back of the box.

Incidentally? He never uses a sword in the entire movie -- yet he's brandishing one on the cover.

"It's a bare knuckles battle for survival when high powered attorney Dean Campbell (Gary Daniels) finds his family and his home taken hostage by fugitive nuclear terrorists. With Central Chemical Operations agents surrounding his house, the government is relying on Dean to show them the complex layout of his custom built mansion. But as negotiations fail and the terrorists' threat increases, the agents must decide whether or not to destroy the house, and everyone in it, from the air. With little time remaining, Dean must choose between working with a government he does not trust or saving his family on his own terms."

Sounds like an exciting movie, doesn't it? Too bad it isn't actually this movie. I turn the floor over to my esteemed colleague, Mr Quirk:

The cover of Black Friday is full of LIES! There are no nuclear terrorists, there are no negotiations, Dean Campbell's family is safe and sound and nowhere near the house. The Central Chemical Operations agents try to kill Dean within minutes after meeting him (who can blame them?), so all that crap about 'working with a government he does not trust' goes right out the window... A better description would be "Dean Campbell is an ex black-ops trained agent who gives up his civilian life in an attempt to expose a plot by CCO to test a chemical weapon by detonating it in a populated area."

Acting Appropriately Stupid

Shoot Me!
"Do it, commander....shoot me! Do it!"

Jamison the ethic-less member of the commando squad is an idiot.

Smithee Award Winner! Worst Special Effect

What Blows on the Outside and Sucks on the Inside?
The house implodes. The implosion really really ... well ... sucks....

Crummiest Ending

The Diner
There's a text crawl which explains the end plot part of the movie, then the main character is just sitting in a diner. No explanation of what he's doing, why he's wandering, where his family is ... any of that. Is it meant to be symbolic? Poignant? Stochastic? Induce peristalsis?

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Gary Daniels Champion kickboxer and karate fighter 
Christopher Stapleton Played Batman in The Death of Batman 
Ryan Kos  
Director Claim to Fame
Darren Doane  

Kevin Hogan

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© 2011-2019 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.