Mission of Death  (1997) 
			
				
					[+]
				
					(Foreign Titles)
				
				
					
						Merchant of Death
					
				
			 
		
	 
	
	
		
			Nomination Year: 2005
		
		
		
			SYNOPSIS: A really crappy film.  Michael ParĂ© (of 
The Philadelphia Experiment and 
The Greatest American Hero), with his slouchy demeanor and nasal, stupid-sounding voice, is like the bankrupt man's Sly Stallone.  He plays Jim Randell, a renegade on-the-edge cop whose family was killed before his eyes when he was 6.  With the help of a beautiful police psychiatrist, he uncovers the secrets of his past and goes after those responsible -- with extreme, extreme prejudice.  This movie had more Overkills than almost any other I've seen in recent memory.
			
			
Bryan Cassidy
		 
	
 
		
	
		Smithee Award Nominations
		
				
					
						
							| "Alas, Poor Yorick" | 
					
					
					
						| That First Step's a KillerJimmy witnesses the cheesy death of his family at the hands of a Hispanic madman.  But it's the dad's death that's the most confusing.  He gets hit/shot and starts to fall down in what looks to be the middle of a field, but then suddenly -- he's plummeting over a million-foot cliff! | 
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							| "Cutting Butter With A Chainsaw" | 
					
					
					
						| These Things Really Blow (Up)Here we have a bunch of motorcycles harassing our heroes in a parking garage.  The cycles always hit something that explodes when they go down.  The CYCLE doesn't explode, mind you, the thing it hits explodes.  I particularly like the exploding railing/fence. | 
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							| "Whoops!" | 
					
					
					
						| How Deep Are Those Pants Pockets, Anyway?He breaks into a warehouse so he can spy on the baddies across the way.  But at the door, he has a backpack.  Then, he doesn't seem to have it as he's walking through the warehouse.  Then, his hand materializes a camera when he looks out the window.  It's gone later.  Then, suddenly, he has a gun.  What's going on? | 
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							| "WHAT?!" | 
					
					
					
						| What Luck!  What Luck!  What Luck!This is a nice, cheesy car chase with some tasty elements.  You've got the driving-ace friend helping Jim out.  He goes up on two wheels in front of a train to escape from the bad guys.  At least that's what I think we're supposed to believe.  It's hard to tell.  Then the baddies in the other car wipe out.  Of course they explode, but not just an ordinary explosion.  A gas-nozzle-from-nowhere opens up and adds fuel to to the fire.  Then, we're supposed to swallow that some incriminating photographs -- just the ones he needs -- were thrown clear, unharmed.  Right. | 
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							| Worst Acting | 
					
					
					
						| Ian Yule as PembrokePembroke walks into the scene in the captain's office.  You win the prize if you can figure out what the hell accent he's supposed to be mumbling. | 
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		Directors
		
		
			
				| Director | Claim to Fame | 
			
			
					
						
						|  Yossi Wein | more often a cinematographer than a director | 
				
		
	
			
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