Guns of El Chupacabra (1997)
[+]
(Foreign Titles)
Nomination Year: 2006
SYNOPSIS: This movie is perhaps the apex of the art of movie-making known as "Zen Filmmaking." No scripts are used in Zen Filmmaking. The "spontaneous creative energy" [sound of Kevin retching] of the director is the only guiding principle.
Keeping that in mind, the plot of this film resembles a railroad switching yard. The various plot elements are chugging along, like trains, all heading toward the same spot. And the viewer sits in semi-darkness, anticipating the sleight-of-hand that will occur when these plot elements converge.
The train wreck is truly awesome.
The main plot through line (the one that survives contact with the rest) is the hiring of Jack Quick, Space Sheriff (Scott Shaw), to restore order to a backwoods planet by killing the Chupacabra that has relocated there. Some of the plot lines that bubble up and fade away (like a river going underground) are:
1. A reporter for Parasite News, who is kidnapped by Men In Black.
2. A sometime luchadore (Mexican wrestler) called The Santiago Kid, who sets off to slay the Chupacabra himself.
3. The Reservoir Dogs-esque posse sent by Z-Man Lord Invader (Robert Z'Dar) to retrieve his precious pets (which may or may not be the Chupacabra and its Grey Alien sidekick, it's not at all clear).
4. The second documentary crew, who always seem to arrive during the Chupacabra aftermath.
5. The weird meta-film scenes involving the shooting of the Jack Quick Space Sheriff movie, which is interrupted by Chupacabra attack.
6. The Dan Danger Rocket Ranger kid's show.
7. The government agents chasing people through Union Station and turning them into aliens (... or something).
Other things worthy of note:
The Chupacabra attacks rabbits, pigs, a colt, a dog, people, and other things, but it never actually sucks a goat.
It's pretty much stated that the Chupacabra can become invisible, but we never see any evidence of that. It's always fully visible when we see it, or the people hunting it are shooting toward something off-camera.
And why are they shooting off-camera? Nobody had a permit to buy blanks, and so the entire movie was shot with live ammunition. If only the film stock had been shot with live ammunition, it would have saved us all this trouble (and saved me $20 and a few hours of my life).
Keeping that in mind, the plot of this film resembles a railroad switching yard. The various plot elements are chugging along, like trains, all heading toward the same spot. And the viewer sits in semi-darkness, anticipating the sleight-of-hand that will occur when these plot elements converge.
The train wreck is truly awesome.
The main plot through line (the one that survives contact with the rest) is the hiring of Jack Quick, Space Sheriff (Scott Shaw), to restore order to a backwoods planet by killing the Chupacabra that has relocated there. Some of the plot lines that bubble up and fade away (like a river going underground) are:
1. A reporter for Parasite News, who is kidnapped by Men In Black.
2. A sometime luchadore (Mexican wrestler) called The Santiago Kid, who sets off to slay the Chupacabra himself.
3. The Reservoir Dogs-esque posse sent by Z-Man Lord Invader (Robert Z'Dar) to retrieve his precious pets (which may or may not be the Chupacabra and its Grey Alien sidekick, it's not at all clear).
4. The second documentary crew, who always seem to arrive during the Chupacabra aftermath.
5. The weird meta-film scenes involving the shooting of the Jack Quick Space Sheriff movie, which is interrupted by Chupacabra attack.
6. The Dan Danger Rocket Ranger kid's show.
7. The government agents chasing people through Union Station and turning them into aliens (... or something).
Other things worthy of note:
The Chupacabra attacks rabbits, pigs, a colt, a dog, people, and other things, but it never actually sucks a goat.
It's pretty much stated that the Chupacabra can become invisible, but we never see any evidence of that. It's always fully visible when we see it, or the people hunting it are shooting toward something off-camera.
And why are they shooting off-camera? Nobody had a permit to buy blanks, and so the entire movie was shot with live ammunition. If only the film stock had been shot with live ammunition, it would have saved us all this trouble (and saved me $20 and a few hours of my life).
Kevin Hogan
Most Ludicrous Premise
Donald G. Jackson
Julie Strain
Robert Z'Dar
Conrad Brooks
Joe Estevez
