Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe
Nomination Year: 2007
SYNOPSIS: There is a cadre of cosmic policemen called
Green LanternsFinders who live for thousands of years (via scientific means ... like ozone layering). They are very much like British policemen in that their job involves resolving situations without killing. Except situations where their superiors think they ought to have used deadly force, in which case they get yelled at for not killing. Indeed, the only hard-and-fast rule on the subject is that you're not allowed to kill a rogue Finder, even if they have gone wingding crazypower-hungry, and are on the verge of destroying the universe.
Secundus (Sven-Ole Thorsen) has escaped to a distant planet ("Earth? Nice name") in order to impregnate a local female (via a pretty lame special effect) and produce an offspring capable of generating the anti-life equation, and thereby making
DarkseidSecundus as unto a god. His old partner Abraxas (Jesse Ventura) is sent to apprehend him.
The bulk of the film actually takes place about five years later, when Secundus escapes from prison, and returns to Earth, and Abraxas is sent to bring him in again. I suspect that they couldn't get a five-year-old actor, because all the characters comment on how large he is for five. Regardless, using tracking provided by his
Mother boxAnswer box, Secundus closes in on the boy (and his mother), while Abraxas works to protect them.
- Worst Science
There's a Hole in His Ozone Layering
How is Abraxas turned into an extremely-powerful nigh-immortal cosmic guardian of peace? Ozone layering, of course!
When the kid runs past the old stove and accidentally makes it explode, it's pretty clear that he is replaced by a stunt-man. I guess they didn't have any stunt men that were the size and proportions of a large five-year-old boy....
- Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame Jesse Ventura former professional wrestler; former governor of Minnesota Sven-Ole Thorsen also credited as Sven Ole-Thorsen ... as though hyphen placement is optional Damian Lee director of such films as Abraxas, No Exit, and Food of the Gods II Ken Quinn has several dozen film credits, but primarily as stuntman or stunt coordinator; this is one of his few acting credits Layne Coleman James Belushi every actor slums sometimes ... his then-wife was a major character in the film
Director Claim to Fame Damian Lee
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