Metallica (1979)
Captive Planet
Sette Uomini D'oro Nello Spazio
Space Odyssey
Star Odyssey

Nomination Year: 2008
SYNOPSIS:  An enterprising alien buys the earth at an intergalactic auction. But when he arrives at Sol Three to view the merchandise and start picking up humans for slaves, he discovers that they fight back. A disgraced scientist puts "the old team" back together in a race against time to create something that can penetrate the alien's impenetrable armor on their spaceships.

Smithee Award Winner!MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Inane Dialogue

"You're present." "Yeah." "Not absent." "Nope."
So, the scummy guy survives the space battle which kills the professor's daughter's boyfriend. The two of them have the following dialogue exchange: "You're alive." "Yeah." "You survived." "Yeah."

Smithee Award Winner! "Whoops!"

A-B-V-D-E-X-G
The film's opening credits (dig that synth music ... it's the only music they score the film with, so if you watch the whole movie, you'll hear plenty more of it) roll. And when it says "ALSO APPEARING (IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER)" -- the names aren't. Not by last name. Maybe by first name? Nope. Middle name? Nickname? Secret Society name?

Worst Special Effect

He Pressed the Stock Footage Button
A toy cannon jerks around and fires at the spaceship. The new putative ruler of earth is offended by this. "If they want violence, then I'll give it to them," he says. He presses, the big red button, and ... POW! BOOM! ZAP!
A series of explosions erupts.
A series of suspiciously stock-footage-appearing explosions. In black-and-white.

Smithee Award Winner! Worst Picture

Marvin the Paranoid Android They Ain't
They go to a junkyard, to recruit a couple of robots. Robots that need to be rescued from their (nauseatingly cutesy) suicide pact. Note how it's easy to tell Tilt from Tilly because she's got the huge eyelashes.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Yanti Sommer  
Gianni Garko  
Malisa Longo  
Roberto Dell'Acqua brother of Alberto, Arnaldo, and Ottaviano 
Chris Avram  
Director Claim to Fame
Alfonso Brescia he also wrote Choke Canyon 

Kevin Hogan

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© 2011-2019 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.