G.I. BRO (1978)
Bastardi senza Gloria
Counterfeit Commandos
Deadly Mission
The Dirty Bastard
G.I. Bro
GI Bro
Hell's Heroes
Inglorious Bastards
The Inglorious Bastards
Quel Maledetto Treno Blindato

Nomination Year: 2009
SYNOPSIS:  G.I. BRO is not a good Smithee movie, nor is it a blacksploitation flick. Instead, it's a pretty good WWII movie starring Bo Svenson & Fred Williamson. Yeah!

The movie begins on an insecure note with the credit sequence. What's so insecure about a credit sequence? The title screen ("G.I. BRO" with different background & typeface than the rest of the credits) shows up six times. Six! Perfect for people with short attention spans. What was the name of this movie, again? Oh, yeah!

It's the story of a handful of military prisoners who are being transferred to the stockade for a variety of reasons (desertion, murder, theft, etc). On their way, their convoy is hit by a German attack, and the five that survive strike out for Switzerland.

On their way, they are surprised by a group of seven German soldiers, but manage to kill them all. Then they discover that the German soldiers were really Americans in disguise -- Americans who had trained for months to pull off a dangerous top-secret mission. Oops.

Of course, the convicts end up going on that mission (steal gyroscope from prototype German V2 rocket) themselves, and must pull it off without the weeks of training, and without the weeks of planning, but with only their moxie, machismo, and ... and ... willingness to KICK SOME GERMAN ASS!

Ahem. Sorry about that. When all's said and done, it really is a pretty good "We Are Better Than Them Damn Krauts" war movie.

Oblivious

Little-known fact: Nazis love to read!
Sneaking into the Nazi-occupied castle, one of the soldiers climbs onto a balcony, and finds himself in a library. There's a man at a desk, reading. Not a problem for our ex-con commando ... he just sneaks between the guy at the desk and the bookshelf behind him.

"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"

Girls with guns -- I bought that calendar once.
The truck taking our escaped convicts to Switzerland has run out of gas, and they're pausing to bathe. Off in the distance, one of them notices ... women! Naked women! Naked German women! Our guys go over and join them, speaking pidgin German. It works out well until Fred Williamson shows up. No way Hammer's a Nazi! Out of nowhere, the naked chicks pull out machine guns. Our guys beat a hasty retreat.

Worst Cover Copy

If you're a Kraut, he'll take you out!
The front cover features a cigar-chomping machine-gun-wielding Fred Williamson, along with the slogan "IF YOU'RE A KRAUT, HE'LL TAKE YOU OUT!" The cover makes it seem like a bloodthirsty Black Caesar film set in World War II. Instead, Fred is not prominently featured, and he has no particular enmity toward the Germans. He'll kill them if necessary, but just wants to make it to Switzerland.... The back cover plot description is (Britishisms aside) relatively correct.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Bo Svenson Big blond action bit-part player, like Marines; The Great Waldo Pepper and North Dallas Forty; was Big Swede in Here Come the Brides 
Peter Hooten  
Fred Williamson "The Hammer" 
Vito Fornari  
Joshua Sinclair In addition to acting, he is also a writer, and a medical doctor (although he has never played one on TV). 
Director Claim to Fame
Enzo G. Castellari also wrote or co-wrote many of the Italian post-apocalyptic science fiction films of the late 1970s and early 1980s 

Kevin Hogan

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