Creepers (1985)
Phenomena - Integral Hard

Nomination Year: 2008
SYNOPSIS:  The gorgeous teenage daughter of a famous actor is sent to a private foreign school. But there's a scissor-killer on the loose. Can a sleepwalking girl with insect empathy find and stop him? Yeah, as dumb as it sounds.

Stupidest-Looking Monster

Like Mother, Like Son
Jennifer runs. She finds the little boy, who must be an innocent victim of his deranged mother...right? Nope, the kid's just as evil and forty times as ugly (I mean really ugly).

Smithee Award Winner! "WHAT?!"

She sleepwalks onto a ledge, witnesses a bizarre murder (more head-through-glass action), drops through a hole, dangles from her nightgown, drops to the ground...wanders in a daze, then gets hit by a car. She tumbles from the car, watches some bugs, then meets a chimp. We see a bug's-eye view.

Acting Appropriately Stupid

Drives Me Crazy
The woman is reasonable and helpful. She says she will send Jennifer back on the train with some money, but the last train's already left. So she offers to let Jennifer stay with her for the night. In her creepy mansion. Where the mirrors are covered because her disfigured son doesn't like his reflection. But there's nothing suspicious here. Here, take these pills! I insist! Okay, I will!

Smithee Award Winner! Crummiest Ending

Chimpus Ex Machina
The bad son has been stabbed, eaten by a horde of ravening flies, drowned, and finally burned. Now Jennifer swims back to shore. A car approaches. It's her father's agent -- at last, a friendly face! Whack! He's beheaded. The mother jumps up (Booo!). "Why don't you call your insects?!" (Actually, why doesn't she?) Well, she doesn't need to, because -- Whack! -- a seriously pissed-off chimp kills her from behind with some kind of knife or razor nobody knows how it obtained. Do I care? Nope. The End.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Jennifer Connelly Oscar-winning actress, this was before her breakout role in Labyrinth 
Dalila Di Lazzaro  
Donald Pleasence His bald pate shows up here and there in both Bad and Legitimate films and made-for-TV movies 
Michele Soavi director of about a dozen films, including The Church 
Director Claim to Fame
Dario Argento perhaps the archetypal Italian giallo writer/director 

Bryan Cassidy

To the Film Gallery Return to Lobby
[Smithee Film Gallery] [Return to Lobby]

© 2011-2019 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.