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Kraa! the Sea Monster (1998)
Kraa, el monstruo marino

Nomination Year: 2011
SYNOPSIS:  The movie is set primarily on Earth, but actually begins on The Cold Planet. The evil villainous Lord Doom is plotting to take over the galaxy. As an integral part of this plan, he sends the mighty Kraa! to the planet Earth, to wreak havoc (Kraa! is aquatic, although really the movie should be called Kraa! the Space Monster).

A group of teen do-gooders a dozen light years away from Earth, the Planet Patrol, finds out about this (their newest member (Alison Lohman) is psychic), but Lord Doom incapacitates their spacecraft, and they are unable to do anything except watch helplessly.

But ... wait! They have an agent in the vicinity. Mogyar is his name. They send him off to earth. He screws up his trajectory, and lands in New Jersey instead of Naples. When I say "lands," in this context I mean "crashes through the roof of a diner." He's found by the owner of said diner, and a biker who was eating dinner.

The Feds almost immediately show up. They capture our earth heroes ... and Mogyar.

Meanwhile, Kraa! rampages, in scenes which are eerily reminiscent of (and yet entirely inferior to) Zarkorr!'s rampages from Zarkorr! the Invader.

The Planet Patrol angsts. Lord Doom gloats. Kraa! rampages. The Feds are in turmoil. Our heroes escape.

They head off to a nuclear power plant, where they convince the scientists there to help build a weapon ... a weapon that Mogyar says might just maybe be capable of defeating Zarko-- I mean, Kraa!

The Feds intervene. The weapon gets fired anyway. The Planet Patrol sacrifices Mogyar's orbiting mothership, and siphons off enough power from the weapon to recharge their satellite's drained batteries. Then they let the nuclear-powered weapon defeat Kraa!. Typical teens.

Earth celebrates (huzzah!). The Planet Patrol goes off to The Cold Planet and captures Lord Doom. Life as we know it is saved, danger averted, and the film finally (after a mere yet simultaneously interminable sixty-something minutes) is over.

Smithee Award Winner! Worst Cover Copy

Cover by Non-Sequitur.
The front cover is a drawing, of a scene that doesn't exist. KRAA! never appears within 14 light-years of the Planet Patrol (the humans on the front), nor is it ever menaced with a helicopter. The back cover implies Mogyar (thing in upper left) is the bad guy, but he's not. "The only hope of survival now rests with THE PLANET PATROL" it says on the back, but in fact they are only tangential to the plot, which is primarily Mogyar and a tea-drinking intelligent biker dude and a woman who owns a diner trying to neutralize Kraa! and escape the US government, which wants to analyze (read: dissect) Mogyar. Finally, nowhere in the movie does it state Kraa! is over 250 feet long tip to tail -- I think the back copy writer just made it up.

Smithee Award Winner! Worst Special Effect

EGA Pinball.
Responding to a remote control command, Mogyar's mothership leaves orbit (lame), bounces off a satellite (Lame!), and smashes into Kraa! (lame! Lame! LAME!!).

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Robert J. Ferrelli  
Jeff Rector narrowly avoided "Worst Acting" nomination in 2005 for Legion of the Night ... twin brother Jerry is also an actor 
Alison Lohman When she appears in movies like Big Fish and Beowulf, I wonder if she thinks back to her first on-screen appearance in Kraa! the Sea Monster and hopes nobody remembers.... 
John Paul Fedele played "Zarkorr!" in Zarkorr! the Invader, and "Kraa!" in Kraa! the Sea Monster 
Director Claim to Fame
Aaron Osborne primarily a Production Designer & Set Decorator 
Dave Parker also wrote The Dead Hate the Living! 

Kevin Hogan

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© 2011-2019 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.