So horrifyingly close to the truth, it will blow your mind!
It was a gift from the red planet...
Uncle Sam had the ultimate solution...
Nomination Year: 2009
SYNOPSIS: Slow + Tedious = This.
While it was being transported to a safe location, an alien virus transmitted via touch has gotten loose at a backwater train station (thanks to a greedy and clumsy old coot who wanted a peek at the train's "secret cargo" to see if it were worth stealin'). Now five people are quarantined in the stationhouse, and if they fall asleep, their heads will explode (no, literally!).
Whoops, make that four people. I mean three. Well, you get the idea.
Bryan Cassidy
Smithee Award Nominations
"Wanna Run That By Me Again?"
Slow News Day
Extra! Read all about it!
Low-Flying Pigeon Swoops Down and Shits All Over Railroad Cargo!
Acting Appropriately Stupid
First Name Jack, Last Name Ass
Jack breaks quarantine for no good reason, then tells the gun-toting guy that he "ain't got the guts" to shoot him.
Bang.
Crummiest Ending
The Ending Ticks Me Off!
A helicopter drops pills containing an antidote. Jack takes one, and it turns out to be cyanide (I guess that's a kind of antidote). This leaves Dr. Sorenson as the only one left alive. He rages a bit, then... The sun breaks through the blinds. It's the next morning. He's not dead! He wasn't infected! He's alive!
At this point, the government sniper in the hazmat suit shoots him dead. The frame freezes, and we hear a clock ticking. It ticks all through the end credits, and long after the screen has faded to black.
Directed Monster A-Go-Go, Rana:
The Legend of Shadow Lake, and The
Capture of Bigfoot, among other stinkers.
Directed and composed the music for The Giant
Spider Invasion, which he then exploited in
his other films.
Nicknamed "Buck." From bums to
bartenders, guards to
background patients, he's a contender
for appearing in
more Smithee films than anyone else,
ever... Also wrote
The Bikini Carwash
Company.
From IMDb.com: "John Alderman was a
talented, prolific, and ubiquitous
actor in numerous low-budget
exploitation features..." Indeed. From
a part on "Gunsmoke" in '58 to Steven
in Takin' It All Off in
'87.