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Alien Dead  (1980)
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The Alien Dead
It Fell from the Sky
Swamp of the Blood Leeches
Tagline(s):They Came from Outer Space to Eat the Living!
 They're consuming every living creature in sight!
 The Bodies Are Dead: The Remains Live On...
Nomination Year: 2009
SYNOPSIS: This is a movie from very early in the career of perennial Smithee writer/director Fred Olen Ray, back before he got good.

I'll stop for a moment to let you think about that sentence.

Right, then. Basically, this movie alternates between the heroes talking about important plot developments that happened off-camera ("Doc Ellerbe just did an autopsy and he said...", "Things sure have been strange around here ever since that houseboat sunk out in the swamp," etc.) and people we've never seen before getting eaten by zombies. Actually, what this movie really reminded me of was Living Dead World, if Living Dead World had been filmed in a Florida swamp instead of an abandoned Michigan Airport, and if it had lacked anyone with the charisma or acting talent of Bryan.

Also of note: The script was originally about giant leeches, but was changed to zombies when Fred Olen Ray realized that they couldn't afford leech costumes with the film's modest (read: nonexistent) budget. I'll just leave that fact right there for you.

And finally: It must have been bad enough for poor Buster Crabbe -- superstar of film's Golden Age, who played the original Flash Gordon -- to be in this turkey near the end of his career...but the FINAL indignity must have been that on some VHS covers, they spelled his name wrong as "Crabe." Ow. Owowow.

Greg Pearson and Bryan Cassidy
Smithee Award Nominations
Most Ludicrous Premise
Pappy Tells It Like It Ain't
Eddie Rickenbacker, germ warfare, and giant possums. It's not clear this really IS the premise, but no alternative explanation is ever offered.
Stupidest-Looking Monster
Flannel Is the Height of Galactic Fashion!
The swamp alien. Wearing a button-down flannel shirt and jeans. You know, one of them redneck swamp aliens.
Inane Dialogue
Something Must Have Happened!
The Old Farmer bursts in on the poker game, sweaty and shaking. "He seems upset," says the Deputy. No shit.
"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"
It's a Perk. Or at Least They're Perky.
Deputy Sleazeball takes time out from chasing the monsters to spy on a skinny-dipper.
Worst Acting
A Crabbe-y Performance
If the Sheriff (the late, great Buster Crabbe) may not seem too terrible at first...but just wait 'til he starts talking about "honest money" (with a hard "h") and "mwaskeetas."
Worst Picture
Zombies and Bluegrass
A young couple is driving down the road, and their car breaks down. They're listening to a bluegrass station. Then zombies attack!
Directors
Director Claim to Fame
Fred Olen Ray If there's a contender for worst, most prolific Bad Director ever to (dis)grace Hollywood, he might be second only to Roger Corman. Oh, AND he wrestles under the name "Fabulous" Freddy Valentine. 
Cast
Actor Character Claim to Fame
Buster Crabbe Sheriff Kowalski Superstar he-man of film's Golden Age who played "Billy the Kid," "Buck Rogers," "Flash Gordon," and many others. Starting waaaay back in the 1930s! 
Ray Roberts Tom Corman Small wonder that this is his only entry in the IMDb. 
Linda Lewis Shawn Michaels Her only credit to date. 
George Kelsey Emmet Michaels His only credit...do I see a trend here? 
Mike Bonavia Miller Haze George in The Halloween Planet
Dennis Underwood Deputy Campbell Mr. Harrison in The Mouseketeers at Walt Disney World
Fred Olen Ray Pool Player One of the WORST directors of all time, right up there with Ed Wood and Roger Corman. He will occasionally sneak himself into his own films. 
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