Rejoice, Cinemasochists! The Smith-ka-teers are throwing a royal ball and you are all invited! It’s the return of the king: The Smithee Awards™ -- The reigning awards ceremony celebrating all that is Bad in film and video, now in its resplendent 34th year!

Come to Origins® Game Fair 2026 at The Greater Columbus Convention Center in Columbus, OH (date and room TBD). There you will witness the coronation of the worst the Realm of Moviedumb has to offer: A pageant of so-horrendous-they’re-hilarious movie clips in 18 kooky categories such as Most Ludicrous Premise, The Oblivious Award, “Cutting Butter with a Chainsaw,” Worst Special Effect, “Alas, Poor Yorick,” and of course the crowning jewels of Worst Acting and Worst Picture. But we’re not a total monarchy (more a benevolent dictatorship) -- YOU lowly peasants hold the true power as you get to vote for which clips take the throne!

The mirth and merriment lasts until about midnight, but don’t fret about turning into a pumpkin -- you may come and go as you please. Oh, and there will be prizes! Such is our regal munificence.

So remember Smithee Rule 34: "If it exists, there’s a Bad Movie of it." See proof at the weird, wonderful THIRTY-FOURTH ANNUAL SMITHEE AWARDS™: THE RULE OF SMITHEE. You don’t have to bow down, but you might double over with laughter!

-Your Host, Bryan "Allen Smithee" Cassidy

This past June, The Smithee Awards came to Columbus, OH to do its schlocky thing at Origins '25. Guests of Honor included Sylvester McCoy. If you said "Who?" you are correct: He played the 7th Doctor. Also honored were Sophie "Ace" Aldred and John "Captain Jack" Barrowman, both of the same TV show fame. While I interacted with all three, it was the last that I zoomed in on first: He'd been in the Smithees. So of course I had to pester him.

I "pestered" him twice. He was a great sport. The first time, the only person behind his meet-and-greet table was his manager/assistant(?). Anyway, some lady. So I said, "Huh. He's not even behind his own table." Then I heard a voice to my right say "I'm right here!" And there he was, standing off to the side in front. I did a double-take. Of course I knew he was there all along and he knew I knew, so he smiled and said, "Ah, comedian, huh?" I shook his hand and said, "Why yes, after a fashion," and then, after telling him how I admired his body (of work!), introduced myself fully as Mr. Allen Smithee, and told him what the Smithee Awards were all about.

"I'll bet you've been in some clunkers on your rise to fame," I said. He said, "Well, only one, really: Shark Attack 3: Megalodon." He said this without prompting. He knows what he did. "Hey," he quipped, "I don't mind. That movie bought me my first house." Then he rakishly pushed his sunglasses up his nose and flashed that million-dollar grin.

Later, I informed him the movie was nominated for three Smithee Awards: Worst Picture (of course), "Alas, Poor Yorick," for the most stupid death (Immediately: "The speedboat-eating scene, right?" I said "Yep!" He knows what he did.), and he even won for Best One-Liner.

No sooner had I mentioned the category name when he said, "Let me guess: The line where I said 'Let's go back to my place and I can eat your...'." He paused. We both nodded to confirm we knew the last word. Oh, he TOTALLY knows what he did. "Funny thing," he said, "That line was an ad-lib. The director said 'Just make her laugh,' and that was what popped out of my mouth. That line has actually won several similar one-liner awards at other film festivals." Cool piece of trivia.

I asked him what it was like to work with that director, and if he ever worked with him again. "No!" Barrowman said. Then he looked at the name I showed him. He frowned. "That's not the director of that film," he said. I said, "But that's what it says in the IMDb and on the box." "Well, that's not his real name." John said, "I guess he changed it so nobody knew." I asked him to reveal the real name, but he put a finger to his lips and refused with a wink. "You can find it out if you search hard enough."

So another interesting tidbit from Mr. Barrowman. Could it be that his "breakthrough" Bad Movie Megalodon was directed by, if not THE Allen Smithee, then AN Allen Smithee?

As for Sylvester McCoy, he may not be in the Smithees (yet!), but I did remind him of his participation in a contender that hasn't made it into a ceremony (yet!): The Airzone Solution. "Whoof!" McCoy said, "That was a long time ago. Me, Colin Baker and Jon Pertwee." Then, his voice got consipratorial. "You know," he said, "Pertwee wasn't in the original script. Somehow, he learned of the project, crashed the set, and demanded to be written in. So there he was." Who would have thought?

All in all, several cool and fun interactions with the Who's Who!

-Your Host, Bryan "Allen Smithee" Cassidy

Dear fellow Cinemasochists and lovers of the Best of the Worst, I’m thrilled to announce that The Smithee Awards now has its very own Patreon page and Discord server (with more to come)! If you’re a fan of hilariously terrible movies, ludicrous premises, and inane dialogue, this is the place for you.

Here’s what you need to know:

How Can You Get Involved?

• Become a Patron: Visit our brand-new Smithee Awards Patreon and choose a tier that suits your love for cinematic disasters.

Why Should You Join?

• Exclusive Content: Get ready for all-new Smithee Awards content throughout the year. No more waiting for the annual event—we’re here to “entertain” you year-round.
• Awesome-ish Prizes: Patrons get access to exclusive content, giveaways, and Smithee-themed “goodies.”
• Find Your People: You’re not alone! With VIP access to The Smithee Awards Discord Dance Party, you can connect with people who appreciate atrocious flicks as much as you do.
• Find Your Voice: YOU get to have input into the future (future…future…) of the Smithee Awards, by telling us your opinions for new features, rewards, and whatnot!
• Keep the Projector Running: Your support helps us bring you Smithees content and other benefits all year long. There Is No Escape!
• Special Thanks! Members at the Cast and Producer levels get their names listed in every episode of our new Media Empire! Thanks for your support! We couldn't do this without you. All right, we could, but it wouldn't be nearly as much fun.

-Your Host, Bryan "Allen Smithee" Cassidy