"Do you want a Dorito?"
| Most Ludicrous Premise | ||
| 1992 | ||
|---|---|---|
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Elves (1990) | The Elves could be a Nazi genetic engineering experiment. They're meant to mate with a virgin on Christmas Eve to produce the Master Race. Riiiighhht. |
| 1999 | ||
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Ninja Terminator (1985) | The Go-bot death message. |
| 2005 | ||
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Roller Blade (1985) | The power crystal has been stolen. Who are these chicks? Coneheads? |
| 2011 | ||
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Hard Rock Zombies (1985) | Hitler is revealed & the band comes back to life. |
| 2013 | ||
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The Gingerdead Man (2005) | Electrical problems with her walk-in oven (?), a cookie that suddenly looks NOTHING like what she fashioned (22:45), and the bitch daughter of the bakery's across-the-street rival. There's a rat involved. A cat fight. They hit the fusebox and suddenly…! Jacob's ladder evil-cookie badness! |
| Oblivious | ||
| 1996 | ||
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The Pit (1981) | Go Deep! (Football pass right into pit). |
| 1998 | ||
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C.A.T. Squad: Python Wolf (1988) | Moe enters the room, looks left, then looks right. He still gets coldcocked from the left by a guy who had to be standing RIGHT where Moe was looking. |
| 2006 | ||
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Spontaneous Combustion (1990) | Dr Persons misses guy on fire. |
| 2007 | ||
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Vampire Raiders: Ninja Queen (1988) | If only Mister Miyagi had seen this. Why does he not realize that he's being stalked by a tree? |
| 2013 | ||
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Strike Commando (1987) | A Series of Oblivious Events |
| "Wanna Run That By Me Again?" | ||
| 1995 | ||
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Glen or Glenda? (1953) | "Beware of the big, green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys, puppy-dog tails, and BIG, FAT snails." |
| 1998 | ||
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The Video Dead (1987) | Chocolate love. |
| 2005 | ||
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Deathsport (1978) | "Let's fire together, one at a time." Huh? |
| 2010 | ||
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Nude for Satan (1974) | She rambles about time, finishing with "don't think about the past or the present ... just think about now." |
| 2016 | ||
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The Editor (2014) | We get to see the wife’s bad acting again, until...enter the Inspector. *SLAP* He did you a favor, pal! She even agrees! |
| Worst Special Effect | ||
| 1992 | ||
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Witchboard (1986) | The hero falls out the window, then stands in front of a bluescreen and waves his arms. A very slow descent into Bad Movie history. |
| 2000 | ||
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Claws (1977) | Burning robot bear. |
| 2005 | ||
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Roller Blade (1985) | The Rocket Sled sequence. Bad FX. The annoying puppet gets burned (yay!) but then so do we when we eventually see the ultra-mega-cheesy blue screen effects later. |
| 2007 | ||
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Vampire Raiders: Ninja Queen (1988) | You dummy! |
| 2012 | ||
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Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2008) | 50:24 MLP, SFX -> birds attacking mysteriously ... and bad FX |
| "Alas, Poor Yorick" | ||
| 1994 | ||
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Prophecy (1979) | Campers sleeping. Big bear comes. One little boy starts hopping. BAM! He goes flying end-over-end and hits a rock. All that's left is flying feathers. |
| 2001 | ||
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End of the World (1977) | Exploding coffee in the face leads to running through a sign. |
| 2002 | ||
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Gymkata (1985) | Being a Gemini, I never know what to expect. |
| 2008 | ||
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Dark Descent (2002) | Death by water spike. |
| 2015 | ||
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Ghost Storm (2011) | Ghost Storm: Death bybloody toilet |
| Deus Ex Machina | ||
| 1992 | ||
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Star Crash (1979) | "Imperial battleship! Halt the flow of time!" |
| 1998 | ||
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Future Hunters (1988) | "Look! A helicopter! And a flight plan! We're saved!" |
| 2004 | ||
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Trick or Treat (1986) | Sammi *trips* and sticks his arm in the toilet bowl. |
| 2010 | ||
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Dragon Wars (2007) | Bad guy kicks heroes' asses, then gets hit by station wagon. |
| 2014 | ||
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Collision Earth (2011) | We've seen this clip several times before in the Smithees. But never quite like *this*. |
| Stupidest-Looking Monster | ||
| 1993 | ||
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The Jitters (1989) | The Chinese bouncing vampire is lame. It's even lamer as it uses its only power: the ability to rise, Weeble-like, whenever it's knocked over. |
| 2000 | ||
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Rana, Queen of the Amazon (1994) | Monsieur arm-snake; especially the bit where it kills Dr von Todd. |
| 2002 | ||
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Blood Freaks (1972) | Turkey-headed freak. |
| 2007 | ||
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Godmonster of Indian Flats (1973) | The Godmonster of Indian Flats, itsownself. |
| 2014 | ||
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Rock'n'Roll Nightmare (1987) | Reappearance of the "one-eyed monster" from earlier, buttressed by a strange pterodactyl-worm thing. |
| Worst Science | ||
| 1993 | ||
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Time of the Apes (1987) | Below absolute zero, molecules start vibrating backwards. |
| 2000 | ||
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The Phantom Planet (1961) | The talk in the hallway about how the oxygen in the atmosphere will make him shrink/grow. |
| 2006 | ||
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Circuitry Man II: Plughead Reloaded (1994) | "I've never interfaced with a quadruped before." |
| 2007 | ||
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Legend of the Dinosaurs (1977) | A discussion of science: earthquakes, frogs, dinosaurs, and Ben Franklin. |
| 2016 | ||
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Princess of Mars (2009) | We're sending you to Mars 216...all your data is stored on this 16 GB Thumb Drive |
| Best One-Liner | ||
| 1994 | ||
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Delta Heat (1992) | The edgy cop chases a potential assassin through the halls of the hotel. He ends up cornering a maid at gunpoint. "Uh. Where are those towels?" he demands. |
| 2001 | ||
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Stormquest (1987) | "Pitiful rebellion..." |
| 2003 | ||
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Circuitry Man (1990) | "Why jack off when you can jack in?" |
| 2010 | ||
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Steel (1997) | Two for the price of one -- first we get Shaq's "It's hammer time", followed by "Well, I'll be dipped in shit and rolled in breadcrumbs." "One of Odessa's recipes?" |
| 2016 | ||
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The Editor (2014) | Detective: “How do you know so much about the murder? Where were you on that night?” Female suspect: “I was home washing my hair and shaving my pussy.” *Detective lifts her skirt and looks down* Detective: “Your story checks out.” |
| Worst Cover Copy | ||
| 1996 | ||
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Nail Gun Massacre (1985) | "It's Cheaper Than a Chainsaw!" |
| 1998 | ||
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Foxforce (1976) | The description of the movie is written in the form of a rap song. |
| 2006 | ||
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Ninja Queen Boxer (1974) | The cover is a pack of lies. No ninjas, queen, or boxers were |
| 2010 | ||
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Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave (1976) | "A lightning bolt striking the grave of Bruce Lee, bringing him back for action. Bruce Lee, plays a kung fu instructor who starts a quest to avenge a friend's death, and on the way gets romantically involved with a girl that has similar problems. He eventually finds the bad guys behind it all, and they live to regret it." |
| 2015 | ||
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The Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon (2008) | Lost Treasure of theGrand Canyon: Things that are on the front cover that are in this movie --Michael Shanks, Shannen Doherty, a monster that looks surprisingly like the onepictured. Things that are on the front cover that are not in this movie -- apyramid, lost treasure, the Grand Canyon. Back cover -- still no pyramid, stillno Grand Canyon, there is no "ultimate ritual of evil," and the bestthing they can find to say about the producers is that they also made Smitheewinner Sands of Oblivion. Yay? |
| "Cutting Butter With A Chainsaw" | ||
| 1992 | ||
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No Retreat, No Surrender II (1989) | Two guys fighting. Bad guy gets caught in a flag, dragged behind a Jeep over rocky terrain, dumped in a water-filled pit (complete with alligators), then pulls the Jeep on top of himself. So the other guy blows it up with machine-gun fire. |
| 2000 | ||
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Knock Off (1998) | Rocket man! |
| 2005 | ||
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Lady Terminator (1988) | Close range machine gun death. She shoots him for ten minutes, then kicks him in the crotch and walks away. Classic! |
| 2011 | ||
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Bloody Wednesday (1987) | Harry has finally snapped. The greeter screams and the bullets fly. And fly. And fly. And fly. And fly. And... Well, you get the picture. |
| 2016 | ||
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Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1982) | Billy’s parents have left 3-year-old Billy in the tender care of his “aunt.” Now for a nice, enjoyable road trip! In the mountains! Behind a logging truck! What I don’t get is how Dad never had to use his (sabotaged) brakes even once before this point? Anyhow, careening cars, log decapitation, over the cliff screaming, and then…wait for it…wait for it…BOOM! The delayed explosion makes this and will play really well to the audience when I appear to be moving on while they’re expecting an explosion and not getting one… |
| Inane Dialogue | ||
| 1995 | ||
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Spellcaster (1988) | Ask an Inane Question.... |
| 1997 | ||
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The Clones (1974) | "Kill you? That could be serious--" |
| 2006 | ||
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Behind Locked Doors (1968) | A Series of Inanities revolving primarily around a locked ("from the outside!") door. |
| 2008 | ||
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Metallica (1979) | "You're alive." "Yeah." "You survived." "Yeah." |
| 2016 | ||
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Bad Cop 1 (1971) | "What can you tell me?" "Just what I said." |
| "Whoops!" | ||
| 1992 | ||
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Star Crash (1979) | The hilarious space battle where they count the enemy fighters and consistently count wrong. |
| 1999 | ||
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N.I.A: Ninja In Action (1986) | Stunt double, maybe? |
| 2005 | ||
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Night of a Thousand Cats (1972) | Flashback sequence repeats. Aaaaugh! But oh-so-good. |
| 2011 | ||
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The Invincible Kung Fu Legs (1980) | It stops. No resolution. No credits. No nothing. The movie abruptly ceases. |
| 2016 | ||
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Birdemic 2: The Resurrection (2013) | Camera mic in upper-right corner (BDC - And sound guy lounging in mirror!) |
| "WHAT?!" | ||
| 1994 | ||
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Billy the Kid vs. Dracula (1966) | Billy is overcome by Drac. Billy's friends arrive and shoot at Drac, who laughs. Billy revives, takes the empty gun and K.O.'s Drac with a throw (ARGH!). He then takes an iron spike and kills the vampire. |
| 1998 | ||
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Mafia vs. Ninja (1984) | Ninjas on grass. |
| 2003 | ||
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El Topo (1970) | Waltzing with the priests |
| 2009 | ||
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The Monster of Camp Sunshine (1964) | Stock footage! |
| 2015 | ||
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The Human Tornado (1976) | Dolemite poses as a door-to-door porn salesman in order to get information from Mrs. Cavaletti. |
| Acting Appropriately Stupid | ||
| 1995 | ||
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Zoltan...Hound of Dracula (1978) | Wow, a stake. Just what I always wanted.... |
| 2001 | ||
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976-EVIL II (1991) | Okay. You're not supposed to be in that office, you sneak around furtively. You know that the villain is a Satanic phone line. The phone rings with an eerie echoing sort of sound. What do you do? Hello? |
| 2003 | ||
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Planet of the Vampires (1965) | Touch the glowing shock device. |
| 2010 | ||
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5 Lady Venoms (1984) | Lose at strip dice, ask the gamblers to turn around while you undress, then run off when they do. |
| 2014 | ||
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Hellhounds (2009) | We're lost. Let's climb this creepy skull-shaped mountain and take a look around. |
| "Let's Up The Rating To 'R'" | ||
| 1994 | ||
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The Clones of Bruce Lee (1977) | The beach scene, where two clones are walking along and they see a group of naked women partying (with Coke). After the women attack a nearby man, the clones just say, "Forget them, let's get back to work." |
| 1998 | ||
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Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997) | The Breasts of Death. You are sentenced to Death by Flashing. |
| 2006 | ||
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Guns of El Chupacabra (1997) | Random Luchadore sex. |
| 2007 | ||
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The Girl and the Geek (1964) | "Kidnapped?!" Boobies! |
| 2014 | ||
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Challenge of the Tiger (1980) | The film takes a break for a visit to Richard Cannon's house, the "highlight" of which is his tennis match against a topless woman. |
| Crummiest Ending | ||
| 1995 | ||
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Bride of the Monster (1955) | The ending! Owwww! Big Bela grimaces. Day! Night! Day! Styrofoam rock! Splash into water with octopus! (Octopus?) Lightning strikes monster and octopus, causing a nuclear explosion. "He tampered in God's domain." THE END. |
| 2001 | ||
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The Doom Generation (1995) | Long stare as they drive. "Do you want a Dorito?" |
| 2004 | ||
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Narcotic Justice (1994) | The movie is over. Flashback or credits? |
| 2011 | ||
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Christmas Evil (1980) | The van flies off into the full moon. "Merry Christmas!" The End. |
| 2016 | ||
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The Roller Blade Seven (1991) | Repetitive Pride of the Yankees & our heroes are both dead ... maybe (???) |
| Worst Acting | ||
| 1993 | ||
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The Lost Idol (1990) | Myra Chason really acts badly. "Oh. You. Must. Be. Won Ton Ghoul." [change expression] "I've heard. So much. About you." |
| 2000 | ||
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Rana, Queen of the Amazon (1994) | Pamela Sutch as Rana. |
| 2004 | ||
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Skyscraper (1997) | (Anna Nicole Smith) Excuse me for still believing in Sunday walks in the park and women who can't out-act their breasts. |
| 2007 | ||
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Max Hell, Frog Warrior (2002) | Mickey O'Malley (Joe Estevez) sends out the ninjas. |
| 2016 | ||
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Things (1989) | Don tells a pointless story to console his brother Doug. Really badly. Really pointless. Haltingly. With bad edits. And occasional hair on the camera. |
| Worst Picture | ||
| 1992 | ||
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Star Crash (1979) | The other hilarious space battle, where the heroes fire missiles at the villain's hand-shaped space station. The missiles crash through the station's plate glass WINDOWS, and TROOPS jump out. Wouldn't explosives have been better? |
| 2000 | ||
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Rana, Queen of the Amazon (1994) | Rana and her associates have been captured by Dr von Todd, and the arm-snake strikes. |
| 2005 | ||
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Roller Blade (1985) | Worst Pic Clip. More KKK-on-acid shenanigans. |
| 2011 | ||
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Undefeatable (1994) | The final fight sequence. Nick glistens! Stingray gleams! Kristi fights with her arm in a sling! ...and all in the hospital's loading dock. |
| 2016 | ||
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The Roller Blade Seven (1991) | Martial-arts free-for-all with banjo accompanyment. |