Smithee Ceremonies

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1992 
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2014 
2015 
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MegaMeta #1  MegaMeta #2  MegaMeta #3  MegaMeta #4  MegaMeta #5 
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Ye UltraMegaMeta Smithee Awards #1 

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Most Ludicrous Premise
1992
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Elves (1990) The Elves could be a Nazi genetic engineering experiment. They're meant to mate with a virgin on Christmas Eve to produce the Master Race. Riiiighhht.
1999
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ninja Terminator (1985) The Go-bot death message.
2005
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Roller Blade (1985) The power crystal has been stolen. Who are these chicks? Coneheads?
2011
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Hard Rock Zombies (1985) Hitler is revealed & the band comes back to life.
2013
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Gingerdead Man (2005) Electrical problems with her walk-in oven (?), a cookie that suddenly looks NOTHING like what she fashioned (22:45), and the bitch daughter of the bakery's across-the-street rival. There's a rat involved. A cat fight. They hit the fusebox and suddenly…! Jacob's ladder evil-cookie badness!
Oblivious
1996
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Pit (1981) Go Deep! (Football pass right into pit).
1998
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! C.A.T. Squad: Python Wolf (1988) Moe enters the room, looks left, then looks right. He still gets coldcocked from the left by a guy who had to be standing RIGHT where Moe was looking.
2006
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Spontaneous Combustion (1990) Dr Persons misses guy on fire.
2007
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Vampire Raiders: Ninja Queen (1988) If only Mister Miyagi had seen this. Why does he not realize that he's being stalked by a tree?
2013
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Strike Commando (1987) A Series of Oblivious Events
"Wanna Run That By Me Again?"
1995
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Glen or Glenda? (1953) "Beware of the big, green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys, puppy-dog tails, and BIG, FAT snails."
1998
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Video Dead (1987) Chocolate love.
2005
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Deathsport (1978) "Let's fire together, one at a time." Huh?
2010
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Nude for Satan (1974) She rambles about time, finishing with "don't think about the past or the present ... just think about now."
2016
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Editor (2014) We get to see the wife’s bad acting again, until…enter the Inspector. *SLAP* He did you a favor, pal! She even agrees!
Worst Special Effect
1992
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Witchboard (1986) The hero falls out the window, then stands in front of a bluescreen and waves his arms. A very slow descent into Bad Movie history.
2000
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Claws (1977) Burning robot bear.
2005
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Roller Blade (1985) The Rocket Sled sequence. Bad FX. The annoying puppet gets burned (yay!) but then so do we when we eventually see the ultra-mega-cheesy blue screen effects later.
2007
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Vampire Raiders: Ninja Queen (1988) You dummy!
2012
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2008) 50:24 MLP, SFX -> birds attacking mysteriously ... and bad FX
"Alas, Poor Yorick"
1994
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Prophecy (1979) Campers sleeping. Big bear comes. One little boy starts hopping. BAM! He goes flying end-over-end and hits a rock. All that's left is flying feathers.
2001
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! End of the World (1977) Exploding coffee in the face leads to running through a sign.
2002
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Gymkata (1985) Being a Gemini, I never know what to expect.
2008
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Dark Descent (2002) Death by water spike.
2015
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ghost Storm (2011) Ghost Storm: Death bybloody toilet
Deus Ex Machina
1992
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Star Crash (1979) "Imperial battleship! Halt the flow of time!"
1998
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Future Hunters (1986) "Look! A helicopter! And a flight plan! We're saved!"
2004
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Trick or Treat (1986) Sammi *trips* and sticks his arm in the toilet bowl.
2010
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Dragon Wars (2007) Bad guy kicks heroes' asses, then gets hit by station wagon.
2014
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Collision Earth (2011) We've seen this clip several times before in the Smithees. But never quite like *this*.
Stupidest-Looking Monster
1993
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Jitters (1989) The Chinese bouncing vampire is lame. It's even lamer as it uses its only power: the ability to rise, Weeble-like, whenever it's knocked over.
2000
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Rana, Queen of the Amazon (1994) Monsieur arm-snake; especially the bit where it kills Dr von Todd.
2002
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Blood Freaks (1971) Turkey-headed freak.
2007
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Godmonster of Indian Flats (1973) The Godmonster of Indian Flats, itsownself.
2014
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Rock'n'Roll Nightmare (1987) Reappearance of the "one-eyed monster" from earlier, buttressed by a strange pterodactyl-worm thing.
Worst Science
1993
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Time of the Apes (1987) Below absolute zero, molecules start vibrating backwards.
2000
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Phantom Planet (1961) The talk in the hallway about how the oxygen in the atmosphere will make him shrink/grow.
2006
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Circuitry Man II: Plughead Reloaded (1994) "I've never interfaced with a quadruped before."
2007
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Legend of the Dinosaurs (1977) A discussion of science: earthquakes, frogs, dinosaurs, and Ben Franklin.
2016
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Princess of Mars (2009) We're sending you to Mars 216...all your data is stored on this 16 GB Thumb Drive
Best One-Liner
1994
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Delta Heat (1992) The edgy cop chases a potential assassin through the halls of the hotel. He ends up cornering a maid at gunpoint. "Uh. Where are those towels?" he demands.
2001
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Stormquest (1987) "Pitiful rebellion..."
2003
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Circuitry Man (1990) "Why jack off when you can jack in?"
2010
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Steel (1997) Two for the price of one -- first we get Shaq's "It's hammer time", followed by "Well, I'll be dipped in shit and rolled in breadcrumbs." "One of Odessa's recipes?"
2016
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Editor (2014) Detective: “How do you know so much about the murder? Where were you on that night?” Female suspect: “I was home washing my hair and shaving my pussy.” *Detective lifts her skirt and looks down* Detective: “Your story checks out.”
Worst Cover Copy
1996
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Nail Gun Massacre (1985) "It's Cheaper Than a Chainsaw!"
1998
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Foxforce (1976) The description of the movie is written in the form of a rap song.
2006
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ninja Queen Boxer (1974) The cover is a pack of lies. No ninjas, queen, or boxers were harmed involved in the making of this film.
2010
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Bruce Lee Fights Back From The Grave (1976) "A lightning bolt striking the grave of Bruce Lee, bringing him back for action. Bruce Lee, plays a kung fu instructor who starts a quest to avenge a friend's death, and on the way gets romantically involved with a girl that has similar problems. He eventually finds the bad guys behind it all, and they live to regret it."
2015
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon (2008) Lost Treasure of theGrand Canyon: Things that are on the front cover that are in this movie --Michael Shanks, Shannen Doherty, a monster that looks surprisingly like the onepictured. Things that are on the front cover that are not in this movie -- apyramid, lost treasure, the Grand Canyon. Back cover -- still no pyramid, stillno Grand Canyon, there is no "ultimate ritual of evil," and the bestthing they can find to say about the producers is that they also made Smitheewinner Sands of Oblivion. Yay?
"Cutting Butter With A Chainsaw"
1992
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! No Retreat, No Surrender II (1989) Two guys fighting. Bad guy gets caught in a flag, dragged behind a Jeep over rocky terrain, dumped in a water-filled pit (complete with alligators), then pulls the Jeep on top of himself. So the other guy blows it up with machine-gun fire.
2000
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Knock Off (1998) Rocket man!
2005
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Lady Terminator (1988) Close range machine gun death. She shoots him for ten minutes, then kicks him in the crotch and walks away. Classic!
2011
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Bloody Wednesday (1987) Harry has finally snapped. The greeter screams and the bullets fly. And fly. And fly. And fly. And fly. And... Well, you get the picture.
2016
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1982) Billy’s parents have left 3-year-old Billy in the tender care of his “aunt.” Now for a nice, enjoyable road trip! In the mountains! Behind a logging truck! What I don’t get is how Dad never had to use his (sabotaged) brakes even once before this point? Anyhow, careening cars, log decapitation, over the cliff screaming, and then…wait for it…wait for it…BOOM! The delayed explosion makes this and will play really well to the audience when I appear to be moving on while they’re expecting an explosion and not getting one…
Inane Dialogue
1995
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Spellcaster (1988) Ask an Inane Question....
1997
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Clones (1974) "Kill you? That could be serious--"
2006
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Behind Locked Doors (1968) A Series of Inanities revolving primarily around a locked ("from the outside!") door.
2008
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Metallica (1979) "You're alive." "Yeah." "You survived." "Yeah."
2016
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Bad Cop 1 (1971) "What can you tell me?" "Just what I said."
"Whoops!"
1992
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Star Crash (1979) The hilarious space battle where they count the enemy fighters and consistently count wrong.
1999
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! N.I.A: Ninja In Action (1986) Stunt double, maybe?
2005
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Night of a Thousand Cats (1972) Flashback sequence repeats. Aaaaugh! But oh-so-good.
2011
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Invincible Kung Fu Legs (1980) It stops. No resolution. No credits. No nothing. The movie abruptly ceases.
2016
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Birdemic 2 (2013) Camera mic in upper-right corner (BDC - And sound guy lounging in mirror!)
"WHAT?!"
1994
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Billy the Kid vs. Dracula (1966) Billy is overcome by Drac. Billy's friends arrive and shoot at Drac, who laughs. Billy revives, takes the empty gun and K.O.'s Drac with a throw (ARGH!). He then takes an iron spike and kills the vampire.
1998
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Mafia vs. Ninja (1984) Ninjas on grass.
2003
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! El Topo (1970) Waltzing with the priests
2009
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Monster of Camp Sunshine (1964) Stock footage!
2015
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Human Tornado (1976) Dolemite poses as a door-to-door porn salesman in order to get information from Mrs. Cavaletti.
Acting Appropriately Stupid
1995
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Zoltan...Hound of Dracula (1978) Wow, a stake. Just what I always wanted....
2001
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! 976-EVIL II (1991) Okay. You're not supposed to be in that office, you sneak around furtively. You know that the villain is a Satanic phone line. The phone rings with an eerie echoing sort of sound. What do you do? Hello?
2003
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Planet of the Vampires (1965) Touch the glowing shock device.
2010
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! 5 Lady Venoms (1984) Lose at strip dice, ask the gamblers to turn around while you undress, then run off when they do.
2014
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Hellhounds (2009) We're lost. Let's climb this creepy skull-shaped mountain and take a look around.
"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"
1994
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Clones of Bruce Lee (1977) The beach scene, where two clones are walking along and they see a group of naked women partying (with Coke). After the women attack a nearby man, the clones just say, "Forget them, let's get back to work."
1998
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997) The Breasts of Death. You are sentenced to Death by Flashing.
2006
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Guns of El Chupacabra (1997) Random Luchadore sex.
2007
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Girl and the Geek (1964) "Kidnapped?!" Boobies!
2014
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Challenge of the Tiger (1980) The film takes a break for a visit to Richard Cannon's house, the "highlight" of which is his tennis match against a topless woman.
Crummiest Ending
1995
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Bride of the Monster (1955) The ending! Owwww! Big Bela grimaces. Day! Night! Day! Styrofoam rock! Splash into water with octopus! (Octopus?) Lightning strikes monster and octopus, causing a nuclear explosion. "He tampered in God's domain." THE END.
2001
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Doom Generation (1995) Long stare as they drive.
"Do you want a Dorito?"
2004
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Narcotic Justice (1994) The movie is over. Flashback or credits?
2011
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Christmas Evil (1980) The van flies off into the full moon. "Merry Christmas!" The End.
2016
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Roller Blade Seven (1991) Repetitive Pride of the Yankees & our heroes are both dead ... maybe (???)
Worst Acting
1993
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Lost Idol (1990) Myra Chason really acts badly. "Oh. You. Must. Be. Won Ton Ghoul." [change expression] "I've heard. So much. About you."
2000
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Rana, Queen of the Amazon (1994) Pamela Sutch as Rana.
2004
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Skyscraper (1997) (Anna Nicole Smith) Excuse me for still believing in Sunday walks in the park and women who can't out-act their breasts.
2007
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Max Hell, Frog Warrior (2002) Mickey O'Malley (Joe Estevez) sends out the ninjas.
2016
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Things (1989) Don tells a pointless story to console his brother Doug. Really badly. Really pointless. Haltingly. With bad edits. And occasional hair on the camera.
Worst Picture
1992
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Star Crash (1979) The other hilarious space battle, where the heroes fire missiles at the villain's hand-shaped space station. The missiles crash through the station's plate glass WINDOWS, and TROOPS jump out. Wouldn't explosives have been better?
2000
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Ye UltraMegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Rana, Queen of the Amazon (1994) Rana and her associates have been captured by Dr von Todd, and the arm-snake strikes.
2005
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Roller Blade (1985) Worst Pic Clip. More KKK-on-acid shenanigans.
2011
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! Undefeatable (1994) The final fight sequence. Nick glistens! Stingray gleams! Kristi fights with her arm in a sling! ...and all in the hospital's loading dock.
2016
Smithee Award Winner! MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! The Roller Blade Seven (1991) Martial-arts free-for-all with banjo accompanyment.
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